You Have a Hold on Me 1/?, Wilson moves into Cuddy's for awhile.

I shall break the ice.

Title: You Have a Hold on Me
Chapter: 1/?
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/Characters: Wilson, Cuddy,House,Cameron,Julie, Wilson/Cuddy,Wilson/Julie ( sorta), House/Cameron.
Summary: 'It's funny, you think. How much you seem to care about him when he looks the way he does, how much you hate the fact that the cause of his pain is his love life, you want to fix it but you can't seem to get close enough.' Cuddy has a mental battle with herself.
Spoilers: S2 & 3.
Disclaimer: Oh PLEaSE.



It's funny, you think. How much you seem to care about him when he looks the way he does, how much you hate the fact that the cause of his pain is his love life, you want to fix it but you can't seem to get close enough. You tried to reach out to him awhile ago, but after the whole thing with Tritter, the two of you seemed to drift apart. Then he made the deal with Tritter. Everything seemed to change so much. You want to be mad at him. Mad that he went behind your back. Mad that he was right. Mad because you know that deep down inside you , you know that he is a beautiful, strong, independent person, someone you can't seem to reach to. It annoyed you. It annoyed you to no end, and for some reason, you think he knows . He likes to play with your heart. This entire time, you've been trying to convince yourself that you have the upper hand in the situation, but you don't. You don't like to admit it when you are weak.

You sigh, and look out your glass window office. Cameron is arguing with House, again. They have been arguing a lot lately, ever since House has gotten out of rehab. Why you can't understand. But then you notice how close their bodies are to each other. Barely four inches. Despite the fact that they are yelling, they don't seem to be moving. and, as odd as it is, you notice that there is a certain tension between them. Not like the ones you felt before. No. This is different. More intimate. You smile. You knew it would happen eventually. The two of them. It was slightly predictable. Ever since their date, and since Stacey left, you had a feeling that they would strike something up. You watch them, their movements enchanting you. You can hear them talking.

" It's not the right diagnosis House and you damn well know it!" Cameron yells. The nurses and other doctors look as they pass by.

" How do you know? He could have tuberculosis!"

" Did we SEE any of it in his lungs? No!"

" It doesn't always appear in the lungs and you know it. It can appear anywhere!" House towered over her. He was easily over six inches taller, You smiled as you saw Cameron unmoved by him standing so close. She had always been a strong willed person.

" We did an MRI there was nothing there!"

" Oh, the MRI that was just recently replaced, broken, then meekly repaired? We did an MRI on Foreman and it said he had bronchitis." Cameron huffed and walked towards the elevators. House sighed and walked after her. You wondered how long it would be before they started sleeping with each other. You hear the phone ring, but it doesn't really register in your head that it is yours until it rings for the fifth time. You absentmindedly pick it up.

" Hello? Dr. Lisa Cuddy speaking. How may I help you?" you say wearily. This is getting to old to fast.

" Oh, hello. This is Julie Constance. I used to be married to Dr. Wilson?" You freeze. It's her. The one that broke Wilson's heart. Your Wilson. You want to chew her out, but you know that if you do, he'd never forgive you.

" Oh, uh, hello Julie. It's Lisa." you remember a night last year when you ran into at the bar down the street from the hospital. You talked about your pains, and Wilso...no James.

" Oh! Hi Lisa! Oh I feel stupid for not recognizing your voice. How are you doing?" Julie sounds happy, and as much as you hate her for it, you can't deny that she is still your friend.

" Good. Tired. I suppose you've seen the thing about Dr. House in the news."

" Oh yeah. That must have been a bitch. The hospital didn't lose to much money did it?" Sweet Julie. It sickens you.

" No,no. We didn't." you sigh. It's been a long day. " How have you been Julie?"

" Oh, I'm alright. I got a new job. I'm a principal at the Princeton Pythons High School. "

" Oh? That's wonderful!" Slut. She probably slept with someone on the board.

" I know! I'm so happy with my job. I love the kids." You roll your eyes and recall a night you spent talking to James, him recounting tales of Julie lashing out at her students.

" That's good. So why did you call?"

" Oh right. I was wondering...how is James doing?" there it was right there, you knew it was coming.

" He's doing well." you lie " His practice is back up." you sigh again " He's looking for an apartment in a nice community."

" That's good."

" Yeah. He's thinking about a place in Mistique Villa ."

" Oh that's a nice apartment complex." Julie sounded slightly disappointed to you. You smile. " Does he ever talk about me?"

" Sometimes." You wish you were lying, he does. He misses her. That is one of the reasons you hate her. She still has a hold over him.

" Oh...uh..." Julie stutters. You are also reminded of the whole incident with House and Stacey. Months after their break up, she'd call you ...or Wilson, asking about House. It got annoying after awhile you had to admit. " Well, I hope he doesn't dwell on it to much. " Liar. You think. Stupid lying bitch. You know you're going to far but you don't care. It's all you can take these days.

" He doesn't." There you are. Lying. again. Shame on you.

" Oh. Well that's good." You hear a rukus in the background and you wonder. " Oh, I have to go, my daughter is up. It was nice talking to you Lisa. Night."

" Night." you reply. You feel a bit nervous, shocked. It felt weird. Talking to her. The ex of the man who currently held your affection... and , you admit it to yourself now, your adoration. The world seems so dark to you. The other people in your life try to control you. The online dating was fucked to be sure. Never again. You defiantly tell yourself. You don't like the thought of not knowing. Not knowing what the person would be like. How they'd act. frack. You think. frack,frack,frack. You are frustrated. You decide to call it a night. You gather your stuff up and tell Sally to hold all of your appointments tomorrow. You needed a day off. You pass Dr. Chase on your way out. His bruise has healed completely. If you didn't know that House had punched him, looking at him now you'd never tell. You say goodbye to him and walk to the underground parking lot. You gasp. Then smile. You see House talking to Cameron by his car, the both of them are smiling, and you see that House's arms are draped around her waist. Well... you think I guess it is sooner then I thought. You watch him kiss her lightly on the lips, and she gets a blissfully happy look on her face. They get into his car, and you watch as they drive out of the lot.

" Why Dr. House, you sly dog." you say to yourself.

" I wouldn't call him a sly dog... a donkey is more like it." You yelp lightly and turn around and it's him. Your heart starts pounding as he walks closer to you. James fascinates you. How he walks, moves. His boyish profile, yet strong aura enthrals you.

" How long have you known?" you ask, trying not to tremble. He's less then a foot away from you now. The tension from your disagreement about House hasn't completely dissipated, and you know it.

" about a month now." he says, sighing. " apparently, it happened about a month and a half after House got out of rehab. a night at the bar, a little to much to drink." You smile.

" I see. Sounds typical. But romantic none the less." You have always been a romantic. You realize that it's sad, how many Austen and Brontė books you have tucked in your bookcase at home.

" I guess so." he says. You wonder if you should tell him that Julie called. You are at your wits end. You know it. " Want to get a drink?" he asks. You feel some butterflies flutter in your stomach.

" Uh, sure. Why not." You wonder about the obvious. " Want to meet at a bar, or go in one car together?"

" We can take my car, I'll drop you off at your home." You nod. The two of you get in his car and drive off. The ride to the bar was silent, but you don't care. Just sitting there with him made you feel content. You arrive at the bar and get out. You two order your drinks and go to a booth in the corner.

" So what's up?" you ask him, curious of his thoughts.

" Nothing. The apartment shopping has been a bust, and I don't know how long I can stay in that fucking hotel room." he said.

" I have a spare bedroom at my place. You can stay there until you find a place of your own. " You wonder why the hell you just said that. You mentally slap yourself. He looks at you quizzically.

" I don't want to put you out." he says. You shudder under your breath. His deep brown eyes seem to be bearing into you. You catch your breath.

" You wouldn't." you reply, honestly. " Really...James you wouldn't . It's fine. " He smiles at you and you release a breath you didn't know you were holding in.

" Okay. But only until I find a place." you nod.

" It's a deal, roomie." you laugh lightly at your joke. He laughs as well and those damn butterflies come back.

It's been a few weeks since he had moved in, and you notice you seem more happy with him there. You like having him to talk to at night about your troubles. He listens. Your sister doesn't listen to you well. Your parents? Psht. You and him have been getting closer. You like the closeness, and wonder if this is how it felt for House and Cameron. They have been trying to keep their relationship a secret but they suck at it. Cameron came in, at least 7 times in the last three weeks wearing one of his shirts. His jackets smell like the perfume she wears. They seem to take the stairs more often , as well as frequent trips to the roof. Lipstick smudges, hair ruffled. You smile. House and Cameron are another topic you and Wilson talk about. Both of you agree that their relationship is going somewhere. You notice James seems more happy too. The darkness of the world that once consumed the both of you seemed to be fading each week. While the trials and tribulations you go through will never go away, ( something you both talked about, and admitted it sucked) you are happy now.

You sigh, and look up from the book you are reading for the millionth time, Sense and Sensibility. James is sitting on the couch, reading a medical journal, in his pjs. You cherish these moments. When you get to watch him and he doesn't know. You love how he sighs every five minutes, ( you've timed it, you could set your watch by it) his eyes blink a few times behind his reading glasses. He shifts a bit on the couch to be more comfortable and he yawns. The clock reads 10:23 p.m. . It's not late for the two of you. 11:30 is your usual crash time. This comfortable silence between the two of you gives you this beautiful sense of peace. You love it. You wish it would always be like this. Just the two of you, reading, the sound of the grandfather clock in the corner of the room is the only thing you hear. You love this peace. You cherish it. He looks up from the journal to see you looking at him and you blush. He smirks and shakes his head a bit, turning back to his journal.

Something hits you. a very strong emotion that frightens you. as you watch him sitting there, you realize something shocking, something very life changing...

You love him.

a/n chapter 1! Phew! Finally done! I hope you guys like it!

It's just so.. Wuddish. You know I love you, right?

Well I do now Thanks. I believe this is the beggining of a beautiful friendship. I'm writing ch. 2 right now.

Two months. That was how long he had been there with you. You think back on that night in your apartment when you made your startling realization. You wonder if he feels at all the same way. His search was going...not to well. You realize it isn't his fault. Getting an apartment these days was a bitch. Either it was lousy realtors, lousy apartments or it would be the fucked up prices. The Mistique Villa thing didn't work out, obviously. The last place had been sold to some moron from Texas. You , not to surpisingly, have found yourself hating Texans now.

He knocks on the door to your office and you look up from your paperwork. You nod, as a sign to come in. He does, and your heart rate goes up a bit. He looks rather smart with his ensamble today. Dark blue shirt, silver colored tie, and and beige slacks. His lab coat hangs perfectly on his body, you realized that a little while ago. He looks tired. You now why too. Somehow Julie had found out that he had moved in with you and gotten the wrong idea. Though, why it bothered her, you didn't know. She had broken it off with him, or did she not remember that? She was calling your house insanely. It had gotten to the point where you had to block all three of the numbers she called from. However, whoopdidoo, she calls from pay-phones as well. Not only does the ringing keeps you up at night, but her long, drunken slurry messages annoy you to no end.

*Hellooooooo. You know who it is James. Don't deny it. You fucking her yet? Heh. Of course not. Didn't bother with me till our wedding night. From what I have gathered from your previous failures, you did just fiiiiinnnneee. They also told me about some of you...* She'd be cut off by her boyfriend in the background, snatching the phone from her and scolding her like a child.

* Oh, god, Mr. Wilson I'm so sorry. I thought she was just going to get some milk. I am so,so,so,sorry. I'll try to make sure she doesn't do this again.* he says. He's nice. The both of you like him.

" What is it that you want Dr. Wilson?" you ask, as he comes up to your desk.

" Patient of mine, 23 year old male, comes in thinking he has heart cancer. Turns out he just needs a new heart. He failed to tell me about his unhealthy eating habits. I need to add him to the list ."

" How do you know he won't just wreck this one?" You ask, boss mode clicking on.

" He's going to be put into rehab. The guy has a serious case of aDHD."

" and you think that'll stop him?" you ask, skeptically. He sighs. You know that he isn't fully convinced either.

" He'll die if he doesn't get it." he says, pushing on.

" He'll die even if he does. He'll destroy himself, even after rehab and you know it." You try to sound firm, but saying no to him has always been hard.

" I..." he faulters. " Please. The guy has a daughter coming. If he doesn't get it...he won't...he won't live to see her be born." You stop yourself, prepared as you were to give a retort.

" Fine. Fine. He's on the list." you hear his sigh of relief and you wonder . It was a slight cheap shot. He knew about your weakness for children. Bastard. You get up about half an hour after he leaves to go to Diagnostics. You find the entire crew in there, trying to , well, diangnos the latest problem.

" anything else?" you hear House say as you open the door.

" anxiety disease." Dr. Chase says. House writes it on the board.

" anything else?"

" Psychological diseases can affect the heart sometimes." Foreman suggest. House writes that down too.

" Coronary artery disease." Cameron sounds sure of herself.

" and tell the class why." House says.

" Because it explains the heart failure, the high heart rythmes, and the coronary failure. I'm surprised you didn't guess that Chase." Chase rolls his eyes and it makes you smile. They bicker like siblings.

" Exactly." House rubs his eyes, tired and sullen. You look over and notice the pack of ciggarettes on his desk. It makes you worry. You clear your throat and they all look back at you.

" Hello Dr. Cuddy." Foreman greets politely.

" Hey." come from the other two.

" and what , do we owe the pleasure to your visit?" comes House's remark.

" Just came to see how everything is going." You say.

" Uh...huh. Everything is going fine boss lady." House said sarcastically. You roll your eyes. This man could be so frustrating sometimes. " Chase, Foreman, go start the treatment." he orders. The ducklings get up and leave the room. Now it's just the three of you. "What did you really want to talk about?" he asks, knowing full well why you came.

" Judging by the fact you told only two of your interns to leave, I think you know why." Cameron shifted uncomfortabley in her chair, and looked up at House.

" Well..." she began. " We just...uh...." You smile. Seeing the younger woman blush , for some reason, amused you.

" I wanted to tell you two that I'm fine with it." you say. There is an equal amount of shock on both of their faces. You smile again.

"Well...that's good to hear." Cameron sighs with relief.

" Oh?" you ask.

" Yeah."

"and why is that, may I inquire?" You ask again, smirking.

" Well..."

" We have uh..."

" We..."

" We...have moved in together." Cameron blurts out. You cock an eyebrow.

" Oh? This is getting rather serious." you admit.

"Yes it is." House said defiantly.

" Well, I wish the two of you the best of luck. I'm off." you walk out of the office, leaving the two of them thoroughly shocked. You feel pleased with yourself.

The rest of the day moves on slowly and you can't wait to go home and have a scotch . The thought that Wilson...no James...(frack you hate this) will be there too makes you smile , You pull into your parking space at your apartment complex and see his car there. You walk slowly up to your apartment and open the door. James is there, asleep on the couch. You repress the urge to giggle and you go over and put a blanket on him so he does not get cold. You make something light for dinner, and leave some in the oven for when he wakes up. You sit on the big overstuffed chair in the living room and turn on the tv, putting it on the lowest volume you can so you don't wake him. God forbid in your opinion.

That feeling of peace comes over you again and you are happy. You shift in your chair and feel your eyelids getting a bit heavy. You know it's been a long day and that you should go to bed, but the thought of being able to talk to James when he wakes up keeps you in your seat. He does wake up, about two hours later according to the clock. You had fallen asleep, and the sound of him getting coffee in the kitchen woke you up.

" Hey." you say groggily as he comes back into the living room.

" Hey. How was your nap?" he asks, sipping his coffee and sitting down on the couch.

" Good. and yours?" you say with a smile on your face. He blushes.

" Much needed." he responds . You both laugh a bit. " It was good. It's just things have been hectic lately."

" I know." you say. " anymore coffee left?" he nods and you get up. The phone rings and you pick the cordless up. " Hello?"

" Helloooo...." Oh...sh!t...Julie.

" Julie, you aren't suppose to call here anymore." you say firmly.

" Says who? You aren't my fucking mother. " she hisses through the phone.

" No, but I can do this." you hang up the phone and turn it off so she can't call. You go and turn your cellphone off, then you snatch James' cellphone and turn that off as well.

" What was that about?" James asks as you put his cellphone back in his coat.

" Julie." you say, knowing that that is all you have to say.

"ah." he sighs. " This is getting ridiculous. We might have to go to the police if this gets any worse."

" Isn't her new boyfriend police?" you ask.

" sh!t....he is. But he's nice remember? We like him."

" Yeah, but still," You sink into your chair and yawn.

" It looks like it's going to snow tonight." James says, looking out the window. You look toward the window and sure enough, little white flakes are drifting down. " Hard snow fall. frack. The roads will be closed tomorrow. We're so screwed."

" We could always go to the hospital now and sleep in our offices." you joke. He looks at you.

" Seriously?" he looks amused. " Would you do that just for the sake of being at work?"

" Uh...no." he smiles. " Hey, day off." you say. He looks at you. " What?"

" Nothing, nothing." he is still smiling.

" Tell me!" you insist, going to sit next to him. He shakes his head. " Please?"

" Fine, fine. I was reminded of something that happened to me when I was 16." he blushed.

" What happened?" you ask, eager. He blushes imensly now. You giggle. " Spill."

" You sound like a high school student." he mocks.

" So do you. Spill." he sighs and smiles.

" I... was 16, when I started to go out with my first girlfriend." he begins " We were doing well, but we were both terribly shy. Winter came in Belford and so did the snow. We were on a date one day, and went for a nice little walk in the snow in the park." he sighed. " I got my first kiss under the statue of the Mayflower in the center of the park." He's blushing now, and you giggle.

" aw that's so sweet." you say truthfully.

" Your mocking me." he replies.

" No I'm not, I think it's cute." He blushes. " aww your blushing."

" am not."

"are too." you sigh happily. " I say...we don't go to work tomorrow. It's not like we can get to the hospital anyway." he looks at you, and you are so happy you're sitting down, because you feel your legs turn tot jelly.

" We play hookie?" he cocks an eyebrow.

" Yeah, why not. I'm tired, and a day off would be nice." he looks at you funny " Pwease?"

" Fine, fine. Just don't say ' Pwease' again. " You laugh and nod. Tomorrow was going to be wonderful.

BONUS PaRT: House/Cameron no p.o.v.

House and Cameron sat on the couch of their apartment while watching a classic on the t.v. They had been living together for a few weeks now, and they liked it. There was a quiteness between the two of them, but they liked it. Cameron shifted a bit, and layed her head on House's shoulder. It had been a quiet night for them. Cuddy had just called and told them to not bother coming into work tomorrow, as the roads were surely going to be closed.

" It's raining and snowing outside." Cameron said suddenly.

" How do you know? The only window here is in our bedroom."

" I can just tell." she replied simply. She picked up her coffee and took a sip. House rolled his eyes and continued to watch the movie. " We had a stroke of luck today. With Lisa."

" We did indeed. " House smiled. " What do you want to do tomorrow?"

" We could go shopping." House looked at her.

" Shopping?"

" Yeah, the mall isn't as far away as the hospital, we could make it there."

" Why?"

" Because Christmas is in two weeks and we have squat to give to anyone." Cameron said bluntly.

" But ..."

" No. You can't get out of this one."

" Oh come on! "

" No Greg. You don't have anything for James or Lisa. I know you don't." Cameron got up and stretched out her arms. " We need to go shopping for decorations too."

" No we don't."

" Yes we do." she picked up their mugs and went into the kitchen. House fallowed her in.

" Come on, why do I have to go?"

" God you sound like a little child."

" Oh, that's rich."

" Says who?" Cameron quirked an eyebrow.

" Me. You weren't to mature when you lost that sweater of yours."

" That's different."

" How?" House asked, wrapping his arms around her waist.

" I'm a woman, I'm allowed to have fits about things like that."

" Oh really?" he placed a few light kisses on her neck. She let out a soft moan.

" You aren't....you aren't getting out of it that...that easy Greg." she said, gasping a bit.

" Hmm, I can try can't I?" he asked, eyes twinkling.

" Oh, please do." she smirked, as he led her to their bedroom.

Let's just say....they did go shopping the next day...but it was at night

a/n second chapter down. Woohoo!

OMG, am I seriously drooling over these lines?

Familiar situation.. About six months ago I wrote a Wuddy fic in which there was a similar description; our point of view is almost the same.

Of course it is.

I'm dedicating this chapter to Julien Sunscribe, because, hun, you are truly every fanfic writers dream.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

'On this day, snowy day
Let me thank you for the joy you're giving me..
I'm so happy..
I have snowflakes of love smiling down on me
Winter bliss when we kiss
Every wish my lips could see
I'm so happy..
I have snowflakes of love smiling down on me

Snowy day
Would you please take me away
Away with you..
Hold me so closely
Like the moonlight lights the sky..

In my dreams of soft winter breeze
Eases my mind, but when I wake
There's nothing but leaves
Still, I'm happy..
I have snowflakes of love smiling down on me

Oh, how I imagine the day we met
And those tingles from those little butterflies..
Reminiscing, I get so happy
I just break down and cry

Candlelight burning bright
Underneath a cool, starry night
You and me, endlessly, it's the greatest gift
That love could give to me

On this day, snowy day
Let me thank you for the joy you've given to me..
I'm so happy.. '
- Snowflakes of Love by Toni Braxton


" I can see my breath." you laugh lightly at his remark. The two of you are on a walk in the park near your apartment. It's cold out, and the two of you are bundled up quite nicely. People passed by you, young lovers, laughing and smiling. Gleeful. You felt blessed that you have him with you. You watch him as he laughs, looking up as it starts to snow again. He can act childish sometimes. But that's part of his adorable boyish charm. and he was very charming to be sure. " What's wrong?" he asks. You realize you'd been staring at him.

" Oh, nothing. Thinking." You lie through your teeth. He smiles and shrugs. The two of you start walking again, and as you walk, you hear the comments of some of the elderly women. ' Don't they make a handsome couple Lori?' ' Yes they do, I wonder how long they've been together.' You smile. It makes you feel good, pathetic as that may be...

" It's beautiful here don't you think?" he asks. You smile.

" Mhm." you reply .

" I can't believe I don't come here more often, it's so peaceful here." You are entranced by him now. How he moves, how he talks. You feel like some lovesick teenager. But then the thought hits you that you don't really care. He's wonderful in your eyes. He's not perfect. Nobody is. But to you, he's like a shimmer of hope that your life will go better. Somehow, you just know. You pride yourself with this knowledge. You protect it in your heart like a keepsake.

" I never knew either." you say, thinking he was probably expecting some reply. He looks back at you, and damn it all, you realize you are at least ten feet behind him. You had stopped to watch him. " Sorry, still thinking." he nods. You start to walk again. The two of you get coffee and head towards the skating rink.

" Wanna?" he asks, pointing towards the rink.

" Oh god, James no. I am horrible at ice-skating." you say defensivley.

" So am I." he replies coyly.

" You act like such a child in the snow." you blurt out.

" I know I do." he replies. " It's because snow is something that reminds me of my childhood." You look at him with a new admiration.

" Same." you both smirk.

" Where'd you grow up?"

" Dallas Oregon." you say, shamelessly.

" Oh. Yeah, it snows there a lot doesn't it?" you nod. " Huh."

" Let's go get something to eat. I'm starving."

" Sure. But we will go skating sometime." you nod, but roll your eyes too.

You arrive at the resteraunt, a nice little bistro on fifth and get seated. The resteraunt is dark lighted, but does have some Christmas decorations up. You notice that. You like it. You get your drink orders then settle down a bit. You are suddenly remember the date the two of you had months back. You blush. You didn't want to admit it then, but you were hoping for a kiss then. Your blush becomes redder without knowing it. James points it out.

" Why are you blushing?" he asks. sh!t.

" Huh? Oh, I was just remembering something a bit embarrising."

" Oh? Do tell." You blush.

" No."

" Come on, I told you something bout my past last night." Dammit. He got you there. More dammit worthy, you had to make something up.

" When I was thirteen, I was at a skating rink, and I was skating around. It was really crowded there, mind you. and I wasn't watching where I was going and ran into this guy."

" Is that it?" he sounds dissapointed.

" No." you think of something . " It was one of my Jr. High Teachers. I hit him in his...uh...private area." that's when he spits out his coffee. You blush but smile because, woohoo, you made him laugh.

" Oh..my."

" Yeah." You cough lightly. The waiter comes and takes your order and his. You wonder if the other people in the resteraunt think the two of you are on a date. They proabably do. You don't look anything alike, so they wouldn't think you're siblings. You have a tension between you, which you noticed awhile ago, one that gives off a certain intimcey. You like this too. Makes you feel special. The lunch goes slowly. To slowly. You talk about this and that, all this time wondering what he thinks about you. God this is pathetic. You know this. You do feel like some lovesick puppy. It's sad.

The two of you go Christmas shopping after lunch, and you learn more about him. Like what the cologne that has intoxicated you for so long is, what his favorite movie is, his favorite shows, his old childhood ambition to be a fighter pilot. You laugh at that. You get presents for your family, as well as Dr. Chase, Foreman, allison and Greg. You go window shopping, and you see a necklace in one of the windows that catches your eye. It's beautiful. a silver two carrot diamond pendent, with a star . It's on a silver/gold laced chain, and you can't seem to stop looking at it. It's only when you feel James' breath on the back of your neck, do you realize he is there.

" It's beautiful." he says, nodded toward the necklace.

" Yeah." you breath. He's very close to you now. Your heart rate is going up again. " We...should go. It's almost seven p.m." he nods and the two of you walk home.

Back at your apartment, the two of you wrap up presents and talk about your childhood memories of Christmas. You reveal a few stories about making cookies, and he tells you about how he would spend most of his holidays at his grandparent's place. You are both happy, or so you think. Well, you want to think it. You are trying to make him happy. You know he gets sulky around this time of year. Bad family memories, you know that.

You don't know if it is the brandy in the eggnog that makes you do it, or the peaceful smell of cinnamon that drifts through the room. But you do something that you are so positive you are drunk when you say it.

" James." you begin, despite your head saying 'Stop you idiot!' .

" Hm?" he looks up.

" I love you." he stops...freezes...oh...frack...

" Well...uh..." he's stuttering. frack! " I ...don't really know what to say..."

"sh!t." you say. " I'm sorry James. I'm so sorry."You sigh heavily. frack. You just screwed everything up. 'I've screwed things up with the man I'm in love with...'

" You didn't screw things up." Oh...sh!t... you said that out oud.... " Lisa..." You blush and get up, heading towards your room. " Lisa!" he calls out to you. You stop at the door . " Lisa please." you don't turn around, but you can feel him behind you.

" What?" you feel the tears coming up. You curse him because you know he's the only one that can do this to you. " What is it?"

" You never gave me a chance to respond." He's terribley close to you. Barely three inches. You feel your legs give out. " Give me a chance." he whispers in your ear. You shudder, and feel a chill go down your spine.

" I want to." You breath. Oh god did you.

" Then will you?" he asks. His hands are on your waist. Oh god, this isn't fair. You are getting aroused. Your skin is tingling , your breath, going faster.

" Yes I will..." he spins you around and makes you look at him straight in the eye.

" Lisa, I love you. Very much. The last few months have been a bit odd, yes, but I have been happy. Living with you has been great. It really has. and, if you would permit it, I'd like to stay with you for a very long time." You release a breath. Oh...my...god... OH MY GOD! " I found a place." he says. In Densington. Only thirty minutes from the hospital. It's really nice. It's huge too. a house." He plays with some of your hair and you smile. " I already put a payment on it. It belonged to a friend, but he's moving, so he asked me if I wanted it. It's really nice."

" Hmmm, is this your billionare friend?" you ask, enjoying the feeling of his hand brushing against your cheek.

" Mhm." you hear him chuckle.

" Is it that mansion you showed me the pictures of? How much did you pay?"

" Yes and $ 600,000."

" Holy sh!t."

" I know."

" He must really like you, your friend."

"He does."

" He's the gay one isn't he?" you ask, as he kisses you lightly on the lips.

" Yes." he kisses you on the neck, in all the right spots.

" Hm, isn't he nice? He sent me a Christmas card once."

" He is." kissing you on the lips again.

" What about the house payments?"

" He's taking care of everything. Like I said...he really,really likes me."

" Ohhhh...." you smile. " aww he has a crush on you. How cute."

" Hm. Yes, but I'm taken." he smiles at you . " So what do you think?" he asks.

" I like it." you reply, in a dreamy voice.

" No, I mean, do you want to live with me there? Or ..."

" James...it's a mansion...yes I want to live there." he chuckles and kisses you again, and you feel like you are in complete bliss.

a/n I wanted to get the kiss thing over with. Reviews much loved.

Thank you my dear!

I could have never said that better. *_*

As you said, OH MY GOD!

I would feel that too. Lucky woman.

You're sweet.