Not a good time in my life right now

Guys i could really use some support.

My mom was admitted to the hospital yesterday, what started out as a UTI may have progressed into septic shock. My mom is being treated as if its septic shock.
Her blood pressure bottomed out and she was not cohearant as of mid-afternoon yesterday. Last night i received a call from her doctors asking for consent to intebate her. She was not lucid enough to make the decision on her own and my grandmother put me down for consent.

I gave the permission. We went up there today and her condition has deteriorated. She is in accute renal failure and had pnemonia. My mom has a dnr so i had to be the one to sign the orders on her behalf letting them know if her heart stops beating that she is not to receive CPR or be shocked. the only means they may take are chemical means (epis or atrapien )

So right now she is at 40% survival rate.

so i probally wont be on that much, I dont pray in general, I am not even christian but i am going to exhaust all methods of prayer and meditation and all the other stuff just to try to help my mom.

i am a christian and i will pray for her and pass the word on at my church too!

Oh hon I am so sorry. Your mom and your family are in my thoughts. *hugs* I am so sorry

my mom is a CNA if they are allowed to treat your mom, most people come out of this situation fine. i hope for the best for your mom. take care.

Oh no! I hope all goes well for you and your mom.

*crosses fingers*

Imagi

OMG Ruthy,

My heart goes out to you right now.
This sounds sudden.

I wish there was something I can do for you to make you feel better.
I don't know how

I almost didn't check in here today but I'm so glad I did.

You must hang in there okay? She can get better.
Do they have any clues why this is happening?
What is a UTI?
Can you get a second opinion on what is going on?

Ruthy, if there is anything, anything at all I can do, just say it

Lots and lots of hugs

a UTI is a urinary tract infection. It happens when bacteria gets into the urinary tract, that bacteria causes an infection. if untreated it gets worse.

its not good............

she definatly is in septic shock. Not everyone here knows, a few folks do, but my mom is HIV positive and has hep C so those 2 things make everything 10 times worse.

I got a call at 6am saying that she was rapidly declining and to get to the hospital right away. I picked up my grandmother and my sisters and got there in 30 min. She had no BP and looked horrible. They were able to stablize her eventually. I gave consent for a catheter to be put into her heart because it was enlarged and she has an a line to get a better BP reading. Her kidney function slightly improved.
I am not christian but my grandmother is episcopalian so we called a priest/reverand and she was given the last rites(annointing of the sick).

She is retaining so much fluids that her skin feels like a water balloon. she is responding to somethings. she got very agitated when the priest came, i guess shes scarred cause when you hear the priest you know you are near death. She is DNR and i just got her papers and basically half the things we have/had oked are against her wishes. I wanted to pull her off the venilator earlier but my sisters freaked out horribly, they said give her a chance. I caved and said if she dosnt improve in 10 days then I am giving the go ahead to remove her from the venilator. She didnt want it she even said it when they first went to the er i consented only because at the time is was only assistance not needed to survive now i think she definatly needs it and would die without it. I dont want her wishes ignored but i dont want my family to think i am the bad guy either. I have last say for her care and I have to make the decision. 10 days is more than she would ever have wanted but 10 days is usually as long as infection takes to betreated so 10 days it will be, its now down to 9 after today. I want her to get better but i dont want to disrespect her wishes and see her suffer.

Oh my goodness, you and your mom will be in my thoughts and prayers...I wish there was something I could do or say but in these situations there just isn't.

Try to think positive, God can work miracles through science and doctors. I'm really hoping she'll pull through Ruthanne...stay strong!

So she is aware of things going on then?

It's just me but due to that, I'm glad you didn't do it Ruthy.
Not yet at least.

I just went through that myself, the bladder infection thingy.
Never ever had one before and it was farken painful. That's why
I haven't been around this last week and a half.

I thought it was because I had another usler ( I always spell that wrong)
because it felt exactly like that. I was dizzy and weak and thought for
sure I was losing blood. I could barely stand up and this started on the night
of the 4th too. I had to drive home that way and could barely see the line on the road. It freaked my 11 year old out but we made the 2 hour trip home just fine.

I'm still getting over it though and I think the sunburn that night didn't help along with my MS that kicked in the same time.

Okay, this is about you though.
Ruthy, if your mom is strong willed and was still in good health when this started, you have to believe there is a chance for her.
Will can go a long way.
You are in the toughest position possible right now being the one in charge of everything but it sounds like you have handling everything just right.

Are you sleeping okay? Getting enough rest?
Please try Ruthy.

You know, I hope my kids, when I need them like your mom, is as good at handling this as you are. You are a wonderful daughter Ruthy and I know you mom knows that and loves you very very much

slightly improved.....

my mom is only on 2 blood pressure meds today vs. the 6 she was on yesterday. her BP is very close to normal. Her HR is still way irregular and her heart is still enlarged and not working anywhere near capacity. She still has pnemonia and is still in renal failure. She is on 80% oxygen VS. 100% so thats a lil better. She is still heavily sedated and today the only time she responded to anything was when they suctioned her airway.

tomorrow my 1 sister is going to go up and read to her. My mom had just bought a stephen king book 2 days before she went to the er so maybe she will enjoy that. I told the nurses to leave on the TV in the room for her. The 1 station that shows what channels are what plays a radio station that is a mix of like 70's to todays music so she wold like that and its so much better than hearing the beeps and the venilator.

Gale I am alright. I have been preparing for my moms death for 14 years, when she was 1st diagnosed with aids. I am very strong when it comes to these things, sometimes it seems like i am heartless to a point because i can control my emotions but I need to be strong for my sisters and grandmother. They are complete wrecks. Non of them are able to make any proper decision without tying in emotions to it. If it were up to them she would be on the machines for 50 years.
If she continues to improve then i will hold off on taking the breating tube out but i told them if/when my mom wakes up and is in a much better condition i am going to tell her that I was going to pull the airway and that tracy and crystal insisted on it. I am going to have her draw up a new living will as well and have her specifically tell my sisters her wishes because they belive she would have wanted the airways.

I think being a nursing student helped me a bit too. The doctors let me sit in on a few procedures ( a broncoscopy) and then outting the cath in her heart. They asked me if i was going to be okay with it and i said i would be fine and i was. It was weird knowing that was my mom but i was able to seperate my emotions from it. If my mom wakes up she will be happy i was able to watch. It was a learning experiance.

I will up date you all tomorrow

Ruthann, I'm sorry to hear you and your family are having a tough time at the moment.

Just to let you know, I'll be thinking of you


~Jenny~

my mom has the e-coli bacteria in her blood. how it came to be i have no idea.

she is slightly better again..... she is on 60% oxygen but now she had to be put on insulin because her sugars were out of whack.

other than that she is still the same.

thanks everyone for keeping us in your thoughts

Oh ruthie i am so sorry, i know you told me before about your mom being hiv positive and i know you have been preparing yourself for this as best as possible but it still has to be hard especially when your the one to be making the decision........ i just wnted to let you know you and your mom and your whole family are in my thoughts and prayers, i myself just lost me mom last April to cancer and its hard, were to young to lose our mothers, i hope yours pulls thru, i am here if ya wanna talk on im or e-mail me :-) *hugs*

aww ruthy *hugs*
Hope you and your mom are doing well under the circumstances luvvie xx