Holiday Eating Tips

Holiday Eating Tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something.
It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of
gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of
your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk
or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a
sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to
control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas
party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hull-looo-ooow?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and
New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do.
This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet
table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like
frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position
yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before
becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes.
If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin Mincemeat. Have a slice of each.
Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin.
Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert?
Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the
mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean,
have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the
party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.

Remember this motto to live by:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather
to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body
thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Hehehe, very cute. Unforuntately I am one of those people who just can't eat until I burst, besides that I eat very small meals throughout the day... like a snacker.

My boyfriend loves eggnog, but this year he put on 20lbs, so he doesn't get to indulge. I bought him one container and he drank it all within 2 days, even though I warned him that was all he was getting.

Is it strange that my favorite food especially around the holidays is mash potatos and gravy? OMG! I love that stuff, but around the holidays it seems that they are always fresh made from real potatos not that flake stuff.... yum!

One more tip:
Eat all the chocolate you can! Who knows when you will get to eat as much as you can again! And if you don't like chocolate, why not?!

Good addition! Yeah, who can possibly not like chocolate (other than my wacky hubby)? LOL

My favorite part of that is the end:

Makes me chuckle every time I read it!