Eragon: The Spoof

[Tharimil]

All the characters are in a bar, awaiting the release of Brisngr, and the start of a new adventure. There are the usual discussions of how screwed up Paolini seems to be by messing up the usual norm.

Eragon: *depressed* Man... This whole adventure sucks....
Arya: Why? You're the heroic underdog Dragon Rider! You should be happy.
Eragon: Really? Shall I run down my whole life for you? I've never known my parents, one of which happens to be a long-dead, border-psychotic, cold-hearted bastard, my uncle was slaughtered and my home villiage destroyed, my cousin hates me, weird things happen to me, my brother beat me down and stole my sword, and I can't land a girl for the life of me!
Arya: Wow... Your life does suck.
Galbatorix: Don't worry, I'll put you out of your misery kid. Somewhere in the fourth book.
Eragon: Nah, haven't you forgotten the Law of the Protagonist?
Galbatorix: Law of the who?
Eragon: Protagonist. *chugs some ale* It states that no matter how powerful an enemy is, no matter how much experience the antagonist has, the young teenage hero will always come through at the end with a victory.
Galbatorix: That's just stupid.
Eragon: Hey don't blame me. Blame stereotypes, that's the only reason I'm still alive.
Galbatorix: *grumbles and walks away*
Eragon: Hey Arya, sorry I kinda hit on you during that celebration. I had no idea what I was doing.
Arya: It's okay, everyone was practically drunk anyway.
Eragon: Thanks Arya.
*silence*
Eragon: So does that mean you'll go out with me?
Arya: What the hell Eragon!?!?! Stop hitting on me, compared to me you're a child! Why can't you get that through that thick skull of yours?!
Eragon: *crying* You don't have to yell at me! *sobs* Why don't you love me?! I'm sooooo alone! Woe is me!
*Arya stomps off to the other side of the bar while Eragon chugs beer and gets wasted*
Roryan: Hey Eragon. You all right?
Eragon: Yeah, I'm all right you two.
Roryan: Oooookay... Uh... Is your dragon already wasted?
*Both look over to Saphira who is drinking barrel after barrel of ale. She keeps hiccuping flames*
Eragon: Yep.
Roryan: But you only got here a few minutes ago. Aren't you going to stop her?
Eragon: Nope.
Saphira: I swear I don't have a problem!!!
Thorns: Yes you do.
Saphira: Oh yeah? Listen up shorty! You and I are gonna rumble! As soon as the room stops spinning.
Chris Paolini: Good God what have I done?

[Allasar]

Nice Tharry.

[Airyanna Rose]

That had me laughing through the whole thing! Amazing...

[Tharimil]

I was crying the whole time I was writing it. Oh boy, that was good. I was hoping to get all the characters in there but I couldn't think of anything else to say. That was the only part that disappointed me.

[Zuac]

You did an awesome job!

Good read

[Tharimil]

Bwahahaha! Tharimil strikes again!