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 The friendship thread, talk about friends and friendships~
Magix
Posted: 28 February 2012 22:37


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Hello~
So I decided to make this thread about friends and friendships, since I've been having some friendship problems of my own right now...
In this thread you can talk about anything to do with friends happy.gif
If you have fallen out or have an issue with a friend, then come here, maybe one of our wise forum members can help you smile.gif
Or if you'd rather just tell us about your friends and their personalities then you can do that, too - just tell us anything about your mates.
Have fun...


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RedRoses
Posted: 28 February 2012 22:43


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Great idea to make a thread for this. And I'm sure there will be a lot of advice. I really want to tell a lot, but I can't typ very good on my iPod, so I can rant tomorrow smile.gif I really do have a lot to tell, I'm thinking by myself now.


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TheLightOfMeridian
Posted: 29 March 2012 20:50


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My friends from primary school liked WITCH when we wre all just kids. My present friends don't like WITCH as I do. I hope to make "witch" friends here. It sounds kinda weird, but I think it suits the thread.


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Magix
Posted: 30 March 2012 16:43


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Nah, it completely makes sense smile.gif

For me W.I.T.C.H. has never been very popular. My friend liked the cartoon a little when we were a lot younger, though.
Now W.I.T.C.H. is kind of my own thing (in real life). I like that. It's the same with anime and things, nobody I know has heard of it or particularly likes it, but I don't mind because it makes it my own unique thing smile.gif But at the same time it's nice when you meet people online who share your interests!


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Cordelia
Posted: 20 February 2013 17:50


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QUOTE (Magix @ 30 March 2012 16:43)
but I don't mind because it makes it my own unique thing smile.gif But at the same time it's nice when you meet people online who share your interests!

Agree! smile.gif
I don't really want my friends to like it ... xd_smiley.gif But at the same time it'd be great for W.I.T.C.H. to get a bigger fan base. Not too big, though. tongue.gif


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W.I.T.C.H. is a part of me, and no matter how hard you try - you will never be able to take it away from me.
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KountSarpadeon
Posted: 20 February 2013 18:39


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I have a grand total of 2 friends here. Both of them girls (I'm a guy, in case you didn't know.) 4, if their valentines are included, and why not, 'cause we get along just fine.

I have one old crush who became a friend and then an acquaintance because her boyfriend is an ass****. Yeah, it almost came to blows one day.

I also have 3 friends abroad. With this, my only male direct-friend is abroad, so I find myself in the company of girls/ladies/women/whichever you prefer. I kinda prefer it like that, actually.

But here's the thing about friends: anyone should count themselves lucky beyond the telling of it if they have one, solitary, singular friend who can 'get' them at a rate of 50%. I'm not talking about having similar tastes or somesuch, I'm talking about someone actually understanding you. 50%. At best. All you're gonna get.

Friends are reflections of you, who appeal to parts of you, but ultimately, they are strangers, they are the Other.

One more thing. Especially with friends, you are FRAKKED if you EVER say, "Nah, he/she/they wouldn't do that." Because there is absolutely nothing that any given person wouldn't do when provided with the right circumstances.

This post has been edited by KountSarpadeon on 3 March 2013 09:21


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MoonCloud217
Posted: 19 May 2013 12:05


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i'm starting to get the feeling that i have a problem with other people. again.
i thought i was over it but ... it seems like i'm not.

i know i'm not the only one but maybe most people dont know that so i thought i'd share.

like, when i come into a room full of people, i assume they dont like me, so i shy away even if im not really shy once someone talks to me. but as long as they dont talk to me, i also assume that, since they dont talk to me, they dont like me, and i avoid eye contact, and then they probably think i dont like them, but its not that.

i just dont have an interest in getting to know more people sometimes. it's just a puzzle. i dont have time for more puzzles. it weighs on me. nothing personal against anyone really, it just bugs me that i have to make an effort to get to know people all the time. it drains me of my energy, somehow. i get headaches. trying to please. you know.

thank goodness for animals. i dunno i dont even have pets. but sometimes thats how i feel. geh. humans. overrated. but then again, im also human, and dont want others to feel that way about me.

so there it is again. headache.


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KountSarpadeon
Posted: 19 May 2013 22:54


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First, related to yours. Then, all mine.

First: the cure, I have found, is to not give a frak. Focus on the here and the now, focus on having a good time. Every gathering, every place, every night out has its own rhythm, find it, and let go. You can find yourself having decent conversations and/or having a good time with people you wouldn't be caught dead with. This even applies to the long term. Meet, hang out and stuff, done - but while hanging out, hang out. That's about it. You don't need to solve the puzzle, you just need to accept that it is a puzzle, one that you're not interested in solving. Doesn't prevent you from hanging around in the general area of the puzzle.

"Trying to please" well, let me tell you this, if I tried to please all of my friends, I'd be this abomination that's like 2% every other thing under the sun. There are only two people you should try to pleasE: yourself, and your boss. Because the latter gives you money. That's IT.

I'm too tired to get to mine. Some other time.


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Cordelia
Posted: 19 May 2013 23:04


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QUOTE (KountSarpadeon @ 19 May 2013 22:54)
There are only two people you should try to pleasE: yourself, and your boss. Because the latter gives you money. That's IT.

Wise words laugh.gif


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W.I.T.C.H. is a part of me, and no matter how hard you try - you will never be able to take it away from me.
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KountSarpadeon
Posted: 20 May 2013 00:51


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If I was sane enough to think straight all the time, I would be a bit more wise. biggrin.gif Thank you, nonetheless. So let's destroy that wisdom.

So, what I need to learn when it comes to friends is that it's okay to accept little things from them. It's also okay to not kill myself over whether something I said will be taken the wrong way - these people know me, more or less. They know me enough to know I mean no ill will in what I say. I think too much, double-check and second-guess too much. Just go with the flow. Chaos wills, follow the will, don't question it.

I know firsthand how terrible it feels to see a friend apologize for going on about their troubles, like she thinks you don't wanna listen, when you ARE listening. It's that thought, that, "Why are you doing this to yourself? Don't you know that you are loved?"

And why am "I" doing this to myself?

It's so hard, so damn difficult for me to believe that I may be loved. So hard. And why not? Why the hell not? I drove a friend up the wall today with it, she was "this" close to slapping me and telling me to snap the frak out of it. Why not?

They're decent people. They're older than me. They all have jobs and stuff, they earn good money. Some are over 30. Most are married. In fact, only my "gateway" friend is younger than me (by 1 year.)

Their conversation takes an acute ear, quick wit and a frakload of knowledge to keep up with at times, let alone participate. They're the elite, not in the "frock coats and pipes" kind of way. In the way that their knowledge, their standards and their accumulated info soars high, HIGH above those around them. It took me a while to get the hang of their conversation myself, and I had gone unchallenged in my environment (I spent the first year listening most of the time - they taught me how to shut up and listen when I don't have anything worth contributing.)

And who the hell am I? I'm the Outsider. I'm still just a student, no job, barely scraping by, the guy who devotes his time to watching, listening to and reading stuff when he's not reading up on firearms. I'm the youngest of the bunch, the least experienced, the least knowledgeable. But still they honor me - one of them (my gateway friend's boyfriend) calls me the group's "music expert" and even as I begin to say, "I have no such claim, I just find stuff that I like, that's not necessarily being an expert" he says, "No. You are. Own it."

Says he hates that with everything I know about music, I still try to argue the point with him that I'm no expert.

And I'm hanging with these people. They're not tolerating me because of my friend who, let's face it, was more of an acquaintance when I first took the initiative and started meeting her (and her bf) regularly. And they make me frakking scared because, this is new territory for me. I'm starting to get a feel for the thought, that maybe, yes, I am of this caliber. Yes, I am good enough to hang with them, in fact, I am good enough to be in the same arena. I am good enough, period.

I am good enough.

They challenge me. They challenge me to step outside of my graveyard-like comfort zone, to go to places I've never been before. I am, in no way, a good man. I am, in fact, a terrible, terrible man. I shouldn't be allowed to sing my songs of filth to a decent crowd, but there they are, and I sing, and they listen and I'm having trouble with this. I'm having trouble because it's wonderful. It's a wonderful feeling.

And I am a terrible man. But I can be better. I can be a better man, I can learn to better myself, I can learn, I can be more.

Here I go, then.


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MoonCloud217
Posted: 22 May 2013 08:57


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that's not really my issue, i know i'm good enough and i often feel like i'm part of that elite, but it bothers me when people see me as a bully because i'm not, i know where i'm coming from, it's just sad that people can't see my history before they get to know me, i can't really pour my whole life on to every person i meet, even if i'd like to.


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KountSarpadeon
Posted: 22 May 2013 16:38


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QUOTE (MoonCloud217 @ 22 May 2013 08:57)
that's not really my issue, i know i'm good enough and i often feel like i'm part of that elite, but it bothers me when people see me as a bully because i'm not, i know where i'm coming from, it's just sad that people can't see my history before they get to know me, i can't really pour my whole life on to every person i meet, even if i'd like to.

One, the above was just me, talking about me, not me talking about you. That's one. Second, who said you have to pour your whole life on to every person you meet? No, see, where it works is this - if a part of your life is relevant, then it comes up, you mention it if you must. Otherwise, they'll ask. If they don't ask, they don't wanna know. I've grown accustomed somewhat to NOT telling the people I meet anything about myself. It's better that way.

And if someone who doesn't know you judges you, then just smile and move on - they're morons.


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Cordelia
Posted: 22 May 2013 17:45


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This girl moved to Sweden from Denmark and started in my school around December 2011. Back then we weren't in the same class and I barely knew her name. In the spring semester I ended up switching classes to her class. (this was in 5th grade). In her class was also my neighbor, she was friends with the Danish girl. I became much closer friends with my neighbor than I had ever been. Then I started being friends with the Danish girl, we'll just call her Sara cause the "Danish girl" sounds pretty weird. Then my neighbor, let's call her Emma, started getting angry at me cause I was befriending her friend (Sara). Sara told me how she felt like Emma and another girl is our class were like dragging her back-and-forth, both claiming to be her best friend. She told me she was happy that I wasn't like them and wished everyone in the world was like me. (Cheesy much? wink.gif)
She and I agreed that Emma just wanted everyone to have her as their bff, and ONLY her. But she could have as many bffs as she wanted to.
I suppose this made Emma feel really left out. She really thought I was stealing her friend. We still hung out and I told her how I felt. That I thought I could be friends with both. She still seemed a bit angry.
I didn't meet Sara throughout that whole summer vacation. But since I live so close to Emma we ended up hanging out a few times each week. We became closer than ever before. We even referred to ourselves as "sisters" (lol tongue.gif).
When 6th grade started and I met Sara again she became much more good friends with the popular girls (which she had actually told me she thought were mean, ego, etc. a few months ago). She became their "bff" and I and Emma felt like we were each others' only friends and just stayed together but denied that we were some kind of "bffs" (by then I was already tired of that word). When Emma's parents divorced the first ones she told at school was me and Sara. At that moment we had fought over something I don't even remember and I was pretty cold towards it and just answered something like "OK" (This really makes me sound so friendly and caring). While Sara then somehow became really close to Emma again. She was kind towards her and was always there with her. I was left alone (which I might have deserved for that answer) and never really got the chance to solve whatever it was we were fighting over.
Then Sara suddenly disappeared from school and one day her mom came to get her books and stuff. Later our teacher told us that Sara had moved to a country in eastern Europe because of some relative that was in Hospital.
From her new popular friends who missed her so much I heard that she went to an international school and that she disliked it. I texted her once and we talked, but nothing very deep. Basically just about what had happened during the day and that was it.
I ended up being friends with Emma again and we were back at the stage were we were each others' only friends. Then Emma and her mom moved to a town about 15 minutes away and Emma started a new school.
There I was; all alone with no real friends. Fall semester went by and so did Christmas break.
Sometime into Spring break I had been sick for a week and when I came back I see someone sitting behind me. She looked very familiar except from her newly cut bangs. It was Sara. I felt like throwing tons of questions on her but after the lesson I just ended up saying "hi" and that was it. She was still friends with the popular girls and spent her days with them. At times she came over to me and talked to me, but that might just have been a kind favor. I didn't really get to say what I wanted to before she was gone with the other girls.
The girl who Sara had felt was fighting against Emma over her(Sara) in 5th grade had moved to Emma's new school while Sara had been gone.
I and Sara got put in the same reading-group where we talked some. But we, since we sat outside the teachers' room, mostly read out loud of our books. One day she randomly asked me if I had hung out with Emma lately. I told her how I hadn't done that for about 3 months. Emma was all busy with her new friends at her new school and when we met on the school bus on thursdays she usually talked and laughed with one of them (who i actually know) so there wasn't really much to say.
A few weeks ago Sara had disappeared from school once again. With the timing of me missing it cause I was sick, again. From the popular girls and Facebook I figured she had moved back to Denmark and was starting in the school she went to before she even moved here the first time. The popular girls were crying and writing cheesy stuff on instagram but I didn't really care for them and probably seemed very cold even thought I really missed Sara too. Though I'm pretty sure the Sara I miss is nothing like the Sara they miss. I've missed my Sara for way longer. I'm not sure who's the real one.
I looked through my old photos from a year ago showing me, Emma and Sara jumping on my trampoline. I posted a cute one of Sara on facebook with the words "I miss you <3". Some of Sara's friends have liked it but not she herself. I haven't heard a thing from her since she moved. I still wonder if she ever meant what she said about me or if I was just some kind of substitute friend until she could befriend the more popular girls. It didn't seem like that but who knows? Maybe the popular girls since they know everything about her.

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I know that was very long. I just went in to the writing-mood and that's what I ended up with. No one needs to read it. I just felt like posting it somewhere.

This post has been edited by Cordelia on 22 May 2013 17:57


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