part one "I just wanted a go..."

"Damn."
these are the exact thoughts of Hauptmann freidrich von middenheim as he realised why the pirates he just turned to dust didn't run the other way.
ares ships. twelve of them on sensors. He didn't wait for the tactical read-out. The ares were not going to wait and neither was he. Nine sandstorms and three tundras at three o'clock. spinning the corsair 180 degrees he engaged full thrust towards the gate, then turned back towards the ares and opened fire. turbolaser blasts made little waves as they impacted the first sandstorms shields. suddenley three missiles streaked overhead and anitthilated the first two sandstorms as the other faded into the darkness. pirates. they thought he was one of them. He wasn't about to argue, he just ran.
back at the syndikat shipyard he met up with oscar. "I told you it wasn't finished. The shields aren't even up yet, Fred, ever wondered why the pirates die so easily? No shields. light titanium armour. they're useless mechanics."
"I just wanted a go..."
"well, try my ship, it's back at my station."

part 2 some other time...
post a comment on what you think.

part 2 mmm... shiny

soon they arived at oscar's station.
random weapons hung from the walls.
Fred took an interest in a particularly strange weapon, with a crystal in the centre connected by many wires to a computer chip and a main weapon body, a long tube with what appeared to be a heliotrope fuel cylinder.
"what is that!?!?"he asked oscar
"oh, that. its a composite thermalbeam cannon"
"gahhh?!?!?"
"it uses the crystal to heat the weapon charger core and when the thermal sensor on the chip senses that its hot enough, the thermal beam can be fired. the charger core converts the power into pure heat. no-one has made shields to protect against pure thermal yet, so it's good against well shielded targets. now, come with me"
they walked past storerooms and labs, and one chamber labeled "private - strictly top secret"
themn they reached the hangar area. Fred saw that one wall was a Holo-wall- much like a curtain but more high tech.
Oscar picked up a remote control and began to speak
"ladies and gentlemen..."
"I'm the only one here"
"don't interupt! now... I give you a... ummm... ship.... err.. oh damn.... look its a ship, ok."
he pressed a button and, with a whir, the air lock activared and a small ship flew out into space and promptly exploded.
"oh, wrong button"
he pressed another button and, slowly, the holo-wall faded, revealing a huge ship.
"Wow" fred mumbled under his breath.
"this is the "venom" cometfall. I've refitted it with a dual omni particle cannon turret and strelka missiles, 'cos I know they're your favourite. plasma shields and my own poly-carbon outer armour with diamond lattice on the inside. take her for a spin."
"mmm...shiny"

next part coming soon, and the ares want their cometfall back
the composite thermalbeam cannon looks life a red version of the mining laser and is slightly more poweful if anyone wants to make one

as he clambered into the cockpit of the ship, it struck him just how much more space he had. the corsair was tiny, but this ship was huge.
He settled in the command chair and activated the swivel function. he stretched his legs and span around several times intil he was dizzy.
Then he remembered why he was there. pressing a button on the computer, several lines of text sprang up
"initiating primary systems check A...
pressure test A ...
initiating reactor core test ... OK
attempting reactor activation..."
He had about ten minutes until the reactor activated,
so he checked the news on the 3DV
"pirates are incoming from the east, while we have an anarchist cold front pushing in from the west" news like this had replaced planetary weather years ago...
"reactor active ..."
not long now...
"shields up ...
weapons armed ...
ready to go..."
He sent oscar the signal to open the hangar doors, and slid slowly out into space. he checked his maps and headed towards the stargate. there wasn't much to see in space, so he activated autopilot and waited. soon he reached the gate and activated the gate signal. a sudden light enveloped the ship and almost as soon as it started, it was gone. and so was everything else.
He set off and decided to hunt down those ares that attacked him before.
he soon found them. Drifting. "They must be in autopilot. my ship won't be classed as a threat... yet". He moved around to their flank to appear as though he was joining the formation. "closer... closer... ready... FIRE!" he slammed the fire button for his missiles. a storm of lethal projectiles ripped through the first two sandstorms
. They broke formation and moved to attack, but two more went down from the punishing fire of his particle cannon. the tundras opened fire with missiles but these were no threat as the ICX vapourised them. in minutes they were dead. none remained, and he moved in for the loot....

I've decided to wait for feedback untill I continue.

It needs to be cleaned up in terms of punctuation, sentence structure, paragraphs, etc, but other than that it looks good.

Good story so far, post the next part.

It's "Friedrich" like "Friedrich der Große". And I have no idea what "Middenheim" should be. My friend G. tells me it's something from WarHammer. Ok.

Other than that .. it's a bit centered on military, wepons and violence in space . Oh wait, that's what this game is all about ;)

Some things don't look too plausible, but maybe that's only because the reader got to know only a very small part of the story up to now...

Do 2 or 3 more paragraphs and we'll see ;)

part four loot
He grabbed his auto rifle and prenared to board the first tundra.
A small screen to the left of the door displayed the dock status.
"optimising position....
extending connectors...
checking air supply... result "stable"
final check...
enter at will..."
He pressed the "door open" button and stepped inside.
His sensor goggles showed no life signs. "Well... don't need sensors to work that out..."
He searched the ship but found nothing of value exept a few H3 reactor assemblies
Slowly he moved through the wrecks but found very little. "maybe I over did it on the missiles"
After lingering to see if the ares would sent reinforcements, he left for the gate nothing happened on the way to the gate.He yawned, wondering where the usual pirates and ares were.
As he crossed the gate he was struck by a terrible sense that there was something going on. But it soon passed and he continued to Oscar's station...





the name "hauptmann freidrich von middenheim" can be explained like this
Hauptmann= german for captain, I think
freidrich= random name inspired by my friend fred
von= german aristocrat thing
middenheim= random name. could have been "Jimmelheim" after my cat.

Well, you said you would wait for feedback so...
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!
Now make up a fifth part, please.