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Termin8tor	Posted: Nov 26 2009, 02:47 :29 AM
Ascendant Group: Diary Mod Crew Member Posts: 1,029 Member No.: 14 Joined: 17-June 04	I'm addicted to the random Stig introductions on top gear at the minute xD -------------------- Some say that his politics are terrifying, and that he once punched a horse to the ground. All we know is he's called the Stig.

Dian Wei	Posted: Nov 26 2009, 11:32 :31 PM
MOD Leader Group: Diary Mod Crew Member Posts: 1,832 Member No.: 12 Joined: 17-June 04	Top Gear can smell off.

Bloodcider

Posted: Nov 27 2009, 12:21 :38 AM

Custom Titled Member

Group: Moderator
Posts: 4,742
Member No.: 28
Joined: 20-August 04

Happy thanksgiving etc etc.

I'm posting this here because it's funny. And I still have a chip on my shoulder from buying RE5.

QUOTE (The Dark Id)

Since I'm extremely bored: It's time for the big list of Wesker retcons! Spoilers for the whole series below!

Base Wesker: STARS Captain guy who wears his sunglasses at night. Turns out he worked for Umbrella. He was going to backstab them by stealing the "Ultimate Bio-Weapon" the Tyrant. The Tyrant kills him about ten seconds after he awakens it. Wesker dies.

Code Veronica:
- Wesker is not dead just because.
- Wesker now has super speed, super strength, and demonic cat eyes.
- Wesker works for some new evil company which is never named, never appears, and is forgotten inbetween games.

Code Veronica X:
- Wesker showed up earlier to beat up Chris' sister just because he could.
- His eyes now glow because...well they had this glowy eye effect and thought "why the hell not?"
- Wesker didn't get his ass kicked by the main villain, Alexia. He now held his own and only lets Chris handle the boss fight to be a dick instead of merely running off like a pussy.
- A nuke countdown timer paused for about ten minutes during the ending to allow Wesker to briefly kidnap Chris' sister so they could have an one sided slapping match. Wesker manages to be defeated by the equivalent of an anvil falling on his head.
- Eternal avatar of faggotry Steve Burnside's dead naked body is stolen by Wesker. This is never mentioned again.
- Wesker gets half his face burned off in an explosion. This is promptly forgotten.

Wesker Report DVD:
- It turns out William Birkin from Resident Evil 2 and Wesker were best buds and Willie B hooked Wesker up with a super special virus which turns the infected into a super human with no drawbacks. Said virus can only be activated if the infected dies. Birkin apparently spilled coffee all over the notes to create the virus and it was never brought up again.
- So Wesker meant to get killed in Resident Evil 1. It was all part of his plan.
- Ada Wong is not dead because Wesker saved her because...uhh...
- Wesker kidnapped Sherry Birkin and locked her in his basement or something. She's still there to this day.

REmake:
- Turns out Wesker was an Umbrella researcher since he was a teenager. Birkin too. They hung out in the mansion from Resident Evil 1 most of their twenties fucking around with viruses. They also managed to make the architect of the mansion's daughter into an immortal hunchback by just injecting her with a fuck ton of viruses while she was locked up in the basement because they're just kind of douchebags.

Resident Evil 0:
- So there was this co-founder of Umbrella named Dr. Marcus who really, REALLY liked leeches. He ran a second spooky trap filled mansion in the wood which trained managers for Umbrella or some shit. Mostly he just fucked around with leeches. Possibly sexually. Well, Wesker and Birkin worked with him before that whole Resident Evil 1 mansion researcher gig.
- Since that guy was sort of creepy as shit he was assassinated by some of Wesker and Birkin's goons by orders of the Umbrella President or something. Don't ask why Wesker and Birkin have goons when they're supposed to be like 17.
- Well a couple decades later Marcus came back as an opera singing Final Fantasy character who could sing to control leeches and he was behind the whole viral outbreak in the original game. Wesker pretty much went "oh dang, better put a button on that" and walked over to the second spooky trap filled mansion in the woods and blew it up.

Resident Evil 4:
- So it turns out Wesker actually liked the whole Umbrella thing and is rebuilding it and playing Pokemon with viruses or something. He also has a spy satellite.
- Wesker was also buddies with Tom Berenger who was also buddies with Leon.

Umbrella Chronicles:

Strap in tight!

RE0:
- You know how Wesker blew up the second spooky trap filled mansion? Yeah he walked there from Birkin's lab and killed a few hundred zombies and mutants.
- Wesker also killed the Prototype Tyrant.
- He also encountered a Russian Bond Villain and fought a really silly looking Mr. X type Tyrant even though the "my heart is on the outside of my body and my wanking hand has turned into three foot claws" model was supposed to be top of the line at that point. Wesker fights the latter, blows up Mansion #2, and hikes back to Raccoon City in time for the intro movie.

RE1:
- Wesker actually injects the Plot Device Virus just before the last encounter with him.
- He got better from dying roughly 20 seconds later. He also now knows kung fu.
- Wesker killed Lisa Trevor (immortal hunchback that rips off faces) by dropping the chandelier in the main lobby of the mansion on her.

Raccoon City Jamboree:
- Well, Wesker didn't actually save Ada. She got better from dying all by herself. Wesker just gave her a job offer over a laptop.

Fall of Umbrella:
- So, Wesker actually destroyed Umbrella. The corporation's final stronghold was a oil refinery in Siberia overrun by zombies and mutants (don't ask.) Wesker ran there (as in he ran across the frozen wastes of northern Siberia at superman speeds), fought a few hundred monsters, fought the Russian Bond Villain who turned into a giant mutant just 'cuz, downloaded all the research data from Umbrella's experiments which was apparently only found on one server, and then leaked that to the press and that's what destroyed Umbrella.
- Wesker is Deepthroat.

Resident Evil 5:
- Wesker is actually a genetically engineered �bermensch before all this shit even happened and is part of the "Wesker Children" so he's a clone or some shit. I give up...

--------------------

Pez: hey choas, whats it like being a jew
Chaossaber: What's it like being an anti-semite?
Pez: I'm going to pretend to understand what that means

Helios	Posted: Nov 27 2009, 01:06 :03 AM
Imperfect Absolution Group: Diary Mod Crew Member Posts: 1,252 Member No.: 85 Joined: 28-February 07	Very true. Very funny. -------------------- "Public opinion is a compound of folly, weakness, prejudice, wrong feeling, right feeling, obstinacy, and newspaper paragraphs. " -Sir Robert Peel

Dian Wei	Posted: Nov 28 2009, 12:41 :54 AM
MOD Leader Group: Diary Mod Crew Member Posts: 1,832 Member No.: 12 Joined: 17-June 04	Larf.

Snyper	Posted: Nov 29 2009, 01:29 :54 AM
Crusader Group: Members Posts: 352 Member No.: 29 Joined: 13-September 04	Nice. If I didn't waste my money on both RE5 and Legendary, I might have had less to bitch about in my collection. -------------------- ""My love for you is like diarrhea, I just cant hold it in.""

Dian Wei	Posted: Nov 29 2009, 02:31 :48 AM
MOD Leader Group: Diary Mod Crew Member Posts: 1,832 Member No.: 12 Joined: 17-June 04	That avatar has been improved greatly since the last time i saw it.

Snyper	Posted: Nov 29 2009, 10:56 :11 AM
Crusader Group: Members Posts: 352 Member No.: 29 Joined: 13-September 04	I cleverly stole it from a friend. An "African American" friend I might add. You see, he's Egyptian. -------------------- ""My love for you is like diarrhea, I just cant hold it in.""

Bloodcider	Posted: Dec 1 2009, 01:10 :03 AM
Custom Titled Member Group: Moderator Posts: 4,742 Member No.: 28 Joined: 20-August 04	This just in: Company releases promotional shoes for a remake of a series who's protagonist is notable for not wearing shoes. No, not Die Hard, but Splatterhouse. http://www.destructoid.com/splatterhouse-s...t--156016.phtml -------------------- Pez: hey choas, whats it like being a jew Chaossaber: What's it like being an anti-semite? Pez: I'm going to pretend to understand what that means

Snyper	Posted: Dec 1 2009, 03:17 :07 AM
Crusader Group: Members Posts: 352 Member No.: 29 Joined: 13-September 04	Not sure what to say. I'm at a loss. It's kind of a new thing to promote a video game? I'll be surprised if it works. -------------------- ""My love for you is like diarrhea, I just cant hold it in.""

Helios

Posted: Dec 1 2009, 01:21 :09 PM

Imperfect Absolution

Group: Diary Mod Crew Member
Posts: 1,252
Member No.: 85
Joined: 28-February 07

QUOTE (Bloodcider @ Dec 1 2009, 01:10 :03 AM)

This just in: Company releases promotional shoes for a remake of a series who's protagonist is notable for not wearing shoes. No, not Die Hard, but Splatterhouse.

http://www.destructoid.com/splatterhouse-s...t--156016.phtml

While true, those shoes do look excessively cooler than most shoes I see.

Also, from the screenshots, I guess he's going to be in hulked out mode the whole game?

--------------------

"Public opinion is a compound of folly, weakness, prejudice, wrong feeling, right feeling, obstinacy, and newspaper paragraphs. "
-Sir Robert Peel

Dian Wei	Posted: Dec 1 2009, 11:32 :50 PM
MOD Leader Group: Diary Mod Crew Member Posts: 1,832 Member No.: 12 Joined: 17-June 04	http://rideshop.zappos.com/n/p/dp/59287215/c/215630.html Seems like a lot for a pair of shoes to me.

Helios	Posted: Dec 1 2009, 11:34 :29 PM
Imperfect Absolution Group: Diary Mod Crew Member Posts: 1,252 Member No.: 85 Joined: 28-February 07	Seems pretty standard for a decent pair around here. They look fairly durable too. Of course, they don't have 14's so fuck them. -------------------- "Public opinion is a compound of folly, weakness, prejudice, wrong feeling, right feeling, obstinacy, and newspaper paragraphs. " -Sir Robert Peel

Dian Wei	Posted: Dec 2 2009, 12:43 :05 AM
MOD Leader Group: Diary Mod Crew Member Posts: 1,832 Member No.: 12 Joined: 17-June 04	I'm a cheap skate when it comes to shoes, unless anyone's got a pair of steve caballero vans from like 2001. Best shoes i've ever owned, lasted me three years as well. Ahh shoe memories.

Bloodcider	Posted: Dec 3 2009, 06:16 :17 PM
Custom Titled Member Group: Moderator Posts: 4,742 Member No.: 28 Joined: 20-August 04	Just want to point out this site is having a nice free shipping deal and some low prices on 360 games: http://www.newegg.com/Product/ProductList....rue&Order=PRICE Jericho, Dark Sector for $8, Stranglehold, Condemned 2, Alone in the Dark, 50 Cent for $10. Pretty sweet. -------------------- Pez: hey choas, whats it like being a jew Chaossaber: What's it like being an anti-semite? Pez: I'm going to pretend to understand what that means

DudeTor	Posted: Dec 3 2009, 06:33 :10 PM
Imperfect Absolution Group: Diary Mod Crew Member Posts: 1,293 Member No.: 13 Joined: 17-June 04	Not so shabby prices on PS3 games either. -------------------- ::portfolio:: ::hl-nightwatch:: ::moddb:: ::the diary::

Snyper	Posted: Dec 4 2009, 06:31 :10 AM
Crusader Group: Members Posts: 352 Member No.: 29 Joined: 13-September 04	Would have been great for Condemned 2 and Alone in the Dark. Oh well. To be honest, I didn't care to much for them after I beat them. Nice site though. This post has been edited by Snyper on Dec 4 2009, 06:36 :43 AM -------------------- ""My love for you is like diarrhea, I just cant hold it in.""

Bloodcider	Posted: Dec 4 2009, 06:26 :57 PM
Custom Titled Member Group: Moderator Posts: 4,742 Member No.: 28 Joined: 20-August 04	50 Cent is tempting me mightily. -------------------- Pez: hey choas, whats it like being a jew Chaossaber: What's it like being an anti-semite? Pez: I'm going to pretend to understand what that means

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