So, I figured I should write a follow-up to my other topic (found here
). It seems I may have concerned a few more people than I intended and I may have also miscommunicated some of my points and intentions of writing.
First thing I'll say is that I was mainly talking about how some people appear. Appearances are incredibly deceiving. I realize that. I also realize that no one is perfect. But I look at Christians all around me and it seems like I'm out of place with them because they seem so self-composed, confident, and blameless. It seems like I'm one of the outsiders when I'm clearly not. But it occurred to me that sometimes I appear perfect (Until I produce my notes that is). If this is the case, then I apologize because I realize that it can be rather easy to perceive someone as an ideal human being. I assure you that I'm not one of them. But I am trying to be more confident in myself and who God has called me to be.
Second, I've found out why I'm not exactly on track for doing anything real major to change the world. Actually there's a couple of reasons. The first is that I haven't really taken full advantage of events in the past to bring godly change, hope and love. The second one is found in scripture. Hold on...wait a moment...
"May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world." Gal 6:14 NIV
Also, there's this verse, "I will not boast in anything/No gifts, no power, no wisdom/But I will boast in Jesus Christ/His death and resurrection.
If I became powerful, important, prestigious and a genius then I would risk boasting about myself and not bowing at the cross, where my brokenness exposes my need to be dependent on someone greater than myself. If I achieve all that, I risk proclaiming myself as an independent entity who has no need for God. That just isn't true. God knows it. I know it. I want to live by faith. It's going to be long and hard and I'll have to take up my own cross. But I know it'll be worth it. And who knows, maybe I'll at least change my world.
Finally, some of the things that I said may have been interpreted as, "I should just die (As in kill myself)." If any of you knew me in high school, you probably know a little bit about how long I struggled with this thought and others like it. You'll also remember that things changed when I decided to actually take Jesus more seriously on His invitation to eternal life. And I haven't looked back since...at least in terms of the desire to off myself into early spiritual retirement.
I conclude this with a thought: I'm happy that this happened because it probably burst some sort of bubble/comfort zone. It definitely did that for me. But I hope it means that those who read this
take it seriously and examine themselves and their current image. If it's a fake one, what's going to happen if that image is broken? Maybe if we were more real with each other then God could finally move so much more freely in our culture and create more experiences that everyone would benefit from. This would potentially change the world. Maybe we would also become more whole.
May all of you be blessed with wisdom and truth.
Thank you for your prayers.