During the first few weeks of the period of time the Catholic Church calls Lent (in representation of Jesus' 40 day fast in the desert and practiced in order to become closer to God through self-denial), I felt pretty good about myself. I had selected a few penances that I felt could help me in the task stated above, and also allow me to piece my "social life" together.
My spiritual life was going great during these first three weeks. During the latest one (one of the last four weeks), however, I've been feeling not-so-great. My social life remains what others might see as great, but because of my emotions swaying up-and-down (not extremely, but still rocking), I haven't been able to enjoy anything. I've tried to find several connections, and the only thing that might make sense is that I've been "bending" the rules I set for myself on February 6th.
Which, if that's the source, doesn't make me feel any greater about myself than I already do. And I really don't want to be like this because I've already noticed my friends and my not-gonna-explain-that-situation-person slipping away. Not that I blame them, because I don't like to be around myself either.
Sadly, I've named several different moods of mine (the names being various first person pronouns). Prayers appreciated.
I'll definitely pray for you. I know how it feels when you're in a spiritual low. Remember, if you keep your focus on God rather than what you're doing right or wrong your actions and attitudes will catch up to you.
