Lana's Latest, A column by Virginia Cervantes

[rockster]

In recent news, Lana "The Heretic" Holmes was ordered to pay a fine of $1,034.52 (a number larger than a speeding ticket in Ireland) due to the damages she imposed soon after PRIMETIME went off the air. The fine was paid immediately by her former love interest, Alan Sledge who is best known by the world as Rockster Lobster. Lobster was in attendance to the sold out show and went backstage to reportedly raise the morale of The Heretic. A more calm and noticeably focused Holmes emerged from the locker room, apologizing to all that were directly affected by her outburst, including one anonymous man who was knocked out by her hands. He chose not to press charges.

According to a reputable source, Lobster might be returning to the ring again. Though is "We Rock, You Roll" tour is meeting success, Rockster Lobster was in great talks to return to the re-emerging GWF. As a former World Champion, he could very well benefit from the signing. When asked, Lobster said:

"Hey...anything can happen. I may go back, I may not. I don't deny the facts that we've been in strong talks. I love and respect Frisconelli and I'd like to help him in any way. If I do return, it'll be after my tour. That's 'IF' though. Let's just see what happens, yeah?"

There is also a good chance that Rockster could return as Holmes' manager, though Lobster denies all accusations.

"She's her own woman. I have nothing but confidence and faith that she'll win a title without my help. She can do it."

Lana Holmes responded to the comment

"He would be right. I want everyone in Ring of Beauty to know that changes are coming real soon...and I ain't talkin' Obama here. Lana Holmes will most definetely surprise people after this next PRIMETIME."

I, myself, am very excited to see what she's gunna do in the next two weeks.

-V. Cervantes

[rockster]

In today's news, Lana "The Heretic" Holmes was suspended and is now unable to compete in the next show. When asked, Mr. Showtime simply had this to say:

"It's not because of that little spat she had in the locker room last show, but it's from what happened this week...we wanna make sure we've got all the facts first."

Holmes allegedly used red and black spraypaint to deface the Ring of Beauty's Owner's property. Things would include his limo, office, as well as other unconfirmed items as well. Though The Heretic maintains her innocence, the tagged items in question read "The H", along with her tagline: "Save me". Until the case is over with, Holmes will be held from competition.

-V. Cervantes

[rockster]

This past Monday, Lana "The Heretic" Holmes came back on the road with her fellow RoB wrestlers with a championship belt. Yes, it seems Holmes was carrying around the GWF Women's Championship.

When asked where and how did she get it, she didn't reply. Mr. Showtime decided to get to the root of the story by investigating on his own terms. He discovered that not only did she NOT steal the belt, but she actually won the belt at GWF's return PPV "Point of No Return". This wasn't a big deal, since lots of wrestlers in RoB have done such things, but it has become a problem now that Heretic is wearing the belt around and saying it's "far more superior than any RoB title, period." Of course, anybody with sense knows this is bad business. Showtime warned Holmes that she will be fired and barred from Ring of Beauty if things persists in which she agreed due to the fact that Created Equal III will be in her hometown of Atlanta, GA.

I ask today, what's really going on with Lana Holmes? Why is she acting like this? What's with the attention? I'm sure we'll all find out real soon.

-V. Cervantes

[rockster]

As we grow closer to the highly anticpated mega-show, Created Equal III, things begin to heat up. One of those things being Lana "The Heretic" Holmes. Destruction of property is once again on her bad rap sheet. No charges were pressed as Alan Sledge (also known as Rockster Lobster) agreed to pay the charges. Holmes, 23, has been known to get herself in hot water with the law no matter where she goes, but she is determined to put those things behind her. A few words from her personal blog on heretic.com/blog

"So what? People have issues with the law all the time. You think that's gunna stop me? You think that's gunna get in the way of my...destiny? It's nothin' but stumbling blocks on my path, my road, to gold."

Holmes seems focused and ready to put the whole thing behind her, as well as Lobster and Maleek Raheem. Regardless of what it is, she's hell bent on capturing gold this Sunday. Today, she will be on Williams St. signing autographs and taking pictures with the fans at 4:30 pm at the Comunnity Center. The first 400 fans will get a free Heretic shirt and bobblehead. This is Virginia Cervantes once again bringing you the latest on Lana Holmes

-V. Cervantes