Chuck Norris?, He's Amazing!

Chuck Norris jokes are, in fact, spam....


When Chuck Norris falls into a river, he doesn't get wet. The river gets Chuck Norris!

i hear they have him in a dew commercial i wanna see it so bad. omg what if chuck played WoW and mad a person named after himself would they try to force him to change his name?

In the morning, when I'm watching Info-mercials and reading webcomics (Yup, thats what I do), Chuck Norris tries to sell me a Total-Gym!

I think you should slap him. He's calling you fat.

Also, I saw that Mountain Dew comercial. It was pretty lame.

Oh! At the Hockey games, there is this thing during the second... intermission? where you text things in and they go onto the tron. There's always a referance to pancakes (usually something about a lack of bones) and usually several Chuck Norris references. There were two last night I should share before I forget:

"Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door"
"Chuck Norris is a pancake"

Lol

Chuck Norris puts the 'laugher' in Manslaughter.

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a 'who has more testicles?' contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into Hulk. When Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

When Chuck Norris gets angry, Pluto loses another chunk.

Some people don't believe in Chuck Norris, others wet their pants at night when they dream about him.

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked your mom last night.

((Testicle contest? What the hell?))
(((BLARGLEAEGAESAGEAFGDGLE!)))
((((Moo?))))

Chuck Norris got owned by Soulcold.... and then he came back to life and kicked me off the Dark Portal.

Lol Jae what's the purpose of this topic?

On another note...

Sad story I actually know a good chunck of Chuck Norris Jokes...

*shakes fist at Barrens Chat and now Trade Channel*

*misses barrens chat*

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Soulcold last night and his foot got frozen in my soul.

Chuck Norris strikes so fast not even the swifttail clan can beat him.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because he's afraid of the dark, because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris drives a pink convertible...covered in human skulls.

No matter where you are, Chuck Norris can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may only be seconds away from death.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

And once I find my Alphabet of Manliness, I can copypasta an average day's happenings for Chuck Norris.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris invented barrens chat with his fist.

Chuck Norris IS the World of Warcraft, Blizzard is just his slaves.

Chuck Norris never writes books, the books write for Chuck Norris.

The mirror saw Chuck Norris and fled in terror.

Chuck Norris made god, not the other way around.

Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Helen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciated irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

For Chuck Norris, every street is one way... HIS WAY.

When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.