Lessons In Being Human, NOEL LECLAIR

[Paige Guthrie]

(I thank Wikipedia for the information on DPD).


Saturday. 13th March. 2:30pm

Paige had almost an entire month since the dance to cool down about what had happened. During that time she had started reading more books on psychoanalysis and discovered that Noel already had Dissocial Personality Disorder but probably not Schizophrenia as the conclusion she had jumped to at the dance. It was also extremely likely that he was suffering from a mild case of Dissociative identity disorder probably as a direct result to the body swapping with his twin brother (and twins were just screwed up like that). Then again the symptoms which Noel had could also fit Borderline personality disorder so it was really hard to diagnose. Noel had already rejected her suggestion at him being prescribed drugs and the only other suggestion of treatment for either that she could find was psychotherapy so what could Paige Guthrie do but be a little more forceful at helping out the problematic Leclair brother this time.

So she waited until everyone had left for the cruise and spent some extra time on her homework before checking over her research once more to better assist Noel. With her gloves and her jacket on (even inside the X-mansion) she stood outside Noel's door and tried opening the door - it was locked, of course. Not a problem... "Noel Leclair! This is Paige Guthrie and if you don't open up this door in the next five minutes I'll husk my skin and punch it in!" That should do the trick... but then he would probably see through her bluff. If she punched in the door then she'd get in trouble and it would ruin her chances of looking professional enough to lead the X-men. No. She couldn't let this boy get the better of her. He was very good at doing that and had already made her behave not as appropriately as she normally would... and he made her cry. Noel Leclair just pushed her buttons like no other - but she had to stop letting him!

She sunk to the ground with her back against the door. Why did he have to keep shutting people out like this? Both physically and emotionally... he was just impossible! But she wasn't going to cry. She could do this without crying. "I know you have problems that people can't fix - and Dissocial Personality Disorder..." she figured quickly that just giving it a name wasn't telling him any information about it. "That is defined as: a callous unconcern for the feelings of others and lack of the capacity for empathy, the incapacity to maintain enduring relationships, a very low tolerance leading to frustration, the incapacity to experience guilt and persistent irritability," she recited slowly and carefully remembering what she had read about it.

"I'm sorry that Jean-Viv turned out normal and you didn't and I'm sorry for rubbing your face in it for texting you the night of the dance about it." Oh no. Here came the tears. Looking back on it she couldn't believe that she had been so horrible! "And I know what it's like to not feel like everyone else sometimes as well but it's hard to get through to you when you are unable to feel empathy or have relationships with people... or to be human the way everyone else is," The whole situation just left her feeling helpless, she couldn't help but bring her knees up and rest her face on them, wrapping her arms around herself. "And I'm sorry for trying too hard to understand your hallucinations and not regarding them as a gift - because mutant powers are supposed to be a gift - even if yours are making you crazy," a sharp sob came out as she inhaled. "I'm sorry for kneeing you as well - it's just that I didn't realize that you get confused sometimes between you and your brother and it's ok... I'm here to help you- just open up the door..." She hadn't even checked if he was even in the room, but he had to be, where else could he possibly be?

This post has been edited by Paige Guthrie on Nov 4 2009, 11:23 AM

[Noel Leclair]

After the bursts of more volatile power reactions he’d had during the month of February, he’d demanded that Xavier block his powers off. The man had refused again. What was worse, the telepath had told him that the reason for the power outbursts had been half due to his own emotional states, but that the growth of his powers was responsible for the other half. The growing powers had pressed past the telepathic blocks that the man had placed on his powers. It’d taken a lot more arguing than he would’ve liked, but Xavier had replaced the blocks on him once more, keeping the past two weeks relatively free of unexpected illusions and hallucinations. No more burning forests or rooms, at any rate. Part of it could be attributed to his more restricted social company, but that was hardly new anyway.

He was going to ignore this whole idiocy, be the bigger man. His brother never thought through anything before acting, so it’d be ridiculous to expect some grand new precedence now. Besides, he could not spend all his free time considering the consequences of his brother’s idiocy. There would be no end to that. Time was far too important to waste in such a way. He anticipated that his brother would get arrested at some point; those concerns were also real and put into perspective the insignificance of non-illegal acts of stupidity such as this one. So no more time wasting on his idiot brother (regarding this matter in the least, it was improbable that another issue would not surface by this time next week). Or his poorly chosen social company, such as that of Terry Cassidy and more so, Paige Guthrie.

It was much easier ignore such people given that they were inclined to go on group outings to the city merely to be on some boat for the afternoon. A good Saturday awaited him, and he’d gone out for lunch, easily leaving the Xavier Institute for the duration of time in which everyone would converge together to set off on this afternoon trip of theirs. It was always more comfortable being out and away from the grounds of the Xavier Institute, in town as Jesse Hall rather than Noel Leclair. No one could approach him this way and interrupt him while he had tacos or watched the episode about the bomb threat in a submarine on his laptop in the corner of the library. At least, no interruptions excepting the phone call from Aunt Mary Lynn, but she wanted to know whether they were coming home for spring break or staying in Bayville. He answered that they were likely staying in Bayville and Mary Lynn made it clear that they were in the least to visit during break. He said he would consider his study schedule, the only surefire way to prevent more prompting from this particular aunt.

By the time he’d bought himself some ice cream and walked back to the Xavier Institute it was half past two, ten minutes past his planned return, but no matter. Of course he hadn’t anticipated any further delays sitting on the floor in front of his room inconveniently blocking his way. Actually, he heard the girl before anything, coming up the stairs just about to turn into the dormitory hall.
“-I didn't realize that you get confused sometimes between you and your brother and it's ok... I'm here to help you- just open up the door...”
Random rambling. Alone at that, apparently. Tag that onto the extensive list of inappreciable traits of Paige Guthrie. Adjusting slightly the right strap of his backpack he walked up, taking a bite of cookies and cream before addressing the girl. “Take your conversations with yourself elsewhere and remove yourself from my door.”

[Paige Guthrie]

Paige suddenly heard footsteps coming down the hallway. There wasn't supposed to be anyone else around - listening to her whole admission like that! It was embarrassing enough what had happened at the dance without having to detail it like she just did - and it would be embarrassing for Noel if other people knew of all his mental problems. She wasn't the type to go around and advertise other people's problems - that was just cruel... unless it was her brother's problems and those were so self-evident that it was really just being honest with people, not spilling things that others didn't already know. So Paige just listened and froze, her arms still hugging her legs and she lifted her head at the oncoming sound. Whew. It wasn't someone else listening to the whole thing - it was actually Noel Leclair himself... which made her both relieved and disappointed that she'd have to say it all a second time. That wasn't really a productive use of her time - going through things twice but it would have to be done... never mind. Noel was here and Noel was safe and... he was eating ice-cream. Noel liked ice-cream? Noel liked something? This was a step in the right direction! Maybe Paige could help him after all! Beneath the constantly dissatisfied exterior he could actually find satisfaction in something! Huzzah!

“Take your conversations with yourself elsewhere and remove yourself from my door.”

Ok... it wasn't too big of a step because Noel would always be Noel in his dissocial, dissociative state, but Paige would take what she could get from him. She jumped up from where she was sitting, her eyes still shimmering from her tears and embraced him immediately (whether he wanted her to or not) in the excitement at him behaving... somewhat normally... and getting to spend the afternoon with him. There was no way this was going to fail like it had in the past. They were on neutral ground now - outside his bedroom. He couldn't act defensive and territorial and... oops! Her arms flinging themselves around his upper torso had accidentally got in the way of his ice-cream and knocked it right out of his hand. Now she had a smudge of ice-cream on her gloves as well. "Oh sorry Noel!" She retracted her arms giving an apologetic shake of the head. "I was just so excited that we can finally make up and clear the air that I had to-"

But of course the ice-cream damage was already done so there was no real harm in... forcing him into a second delighted hug. "Hug you again." She grinned at him earnestly - sure the backpack was in the way of getting her arms all the way around him but it felt nice to try. It did bring back memories of dancing with him - her first dance that was supposed to be with Jean-Viv but she could forgive him for that. She already had and that was why she was here to help him. "So I'm sorry from how I behaved toward you at the dance, I was just embarrassed because I shared my first dance with you and it was supposed to be with somebody special - not that you're not special..." he was just "short bus special" instead of "romantic interest special" that was all.

"Um. You like ice-cream? It's good that you like things. Even though you have no capacity for empathy or concern for others it does show that you're still a human being when you take joy in things - like eating ice-cream" she informed him expecting him to be happy that he had a couple of notches on the unofficial "human" radar. "So what other things do you like?" she ventured. Maybe if she could pinpoint some more things she could see if it was possible for any sort of human interaction based on common interest or association with said things. That might eradicate some of the indifference towards all other people that he lived and breathed. "Let's go down to the common room and you can tell me all about the things you like!" Paige prompted and pulled at his arm to get him to the staircase leading to where she wanted them to go. "And I promise if I can't make you have some type of normal feelings that I'll leave you in the hands of the professionals and leave you alone!" She continued to sound peppy but it had to be a type of offer that he'd take - lure him in with the promise of being left alone and fix him in the meantime - it would be easy.

This post has been edited by Paige Guthrie on Nov 7 2009, 09:38 AM

[Noel Leclair]

Perhaps the refraining of hitting females would best be removed from his code of behavior.
‘Remove yourself from my door’ had implicated no consent in this random hugging. Physical violence the previous month, crying at his door this afternoon, hugging now; there was most certainly some kind of psychological issue here, that much was certain, but it really wasn’t his problem. He shoved her off to step towards his room, but it was impeded directly by the unsatisfying loss of his ice cream. She apologized. It changed nothing and he was irritable lacking his dessert. More so since he had no desire to return to the Ice Cheetah to purchase another one amidst the crowd of small children with their families conversing at loud volumes that could be heard all over the store as he waited in line. The line wasn’t so great either.

But before he could vocalize all this displeasure, she did something unexpected. Possibly anticipating his vocal displeasure, the girl took action first and initiated another attack of an ambush embrace. From behind. Had he known that Paige Guthrie had deigned to stay at the Institute instead of accompanying the majority on their field trip, he would have stayed in town longer. Jesse Hall never had to suffer these issues. Pulling off his backpack to more easily turn around to push her off, he was visibly unimpressed by said hugging as well as the girl’s words. But of course the girl rambled on regardless as she tended to do. How could his brother stand to be around her? His brother liked to ramble nearly as much as Paige Guthrie did.

It was a sign of poor mental functions when someone was more nonsensical than his brother.
“Are you done,” only a second’s space before he reiterated, “You’re done. Since you clearly miss the obvious fact that my brother’s mutant power is switching with me, I’ll clarify this one time. Jean-Vivienne danced with you, not me,” his brother would surely object to the use of his formal first name, but really a lot more was deserved considering the fact that it was his brother’s girlfriend that was forcing these unpleasantries on him. A girlfriend he’d specifically forbidden his twin from seeing, at that. “That aside, you owe me a ‘Dalmatian’ from the Ice Cheetah,” he noted in even more vivid discontentment. The enthusiastic girl could channel said enthusiasm towards cleaning up the spilt mess since he certainly hadn’t been the one to make it and had far from any intent of accompanying her to the common room for any conversation.

“I’m sure female teenage hormones are difficult to deal with, but cry in front of someone else’s room and find someone else to vent your random accusations on because I’m not it.” Nor was his brother, really, but those were the sacrifices one made when one decided to date emotionally charged females that obviously had no awareness of social boundaries. Pushing the girl aside he moved back to the entrance of his room where peace and quiet awaited though no longer in the company of ice cream. “And if you touch me again, I will hit you regardless of your gender,” a flat statement as he unlocked his door. He really needed to have a proper debate with Aunt Mary Lynn about this so called basic chivalry. Crystal Anne was occasionally more of a feminist, but it was difficult to take anyone’s argument seriously when they personally occupied themselves in the profession of objectifying themselves for horny drunks.

[Paige Guthrie]

“Are you done, You’re done. Since you clearly miss the obvious fact that my brother’s mutant power is switching with me, I’ll clarify this one time. Jean-Vivienne danced with you, not me,”

Noel was in his usual foul mood and there was no real reason why. It was merely two hugs, as much as she'd give any of her relatives back home when she saw them and she was agreeing to work with Noel on something - so it quite within the boundaries of what she would consider acceptable behavior. Never mind that little setback, Paige would keep truckin' on and continued to smile even though now it was coming across as fake as it felt. She wasn't going to lose her cool, he had problems... she had to keep reminding herself that he had big, serious, no-therapist-could-touch problems. The second part of what he'd said wasn't what she'd expected. Jean-Viv had danced with her? That was so exciting! Her first dance hadn't been ruined completely! She could almost hug Noel Leclair again she was so ecstatic but knew he wasn't going to let her near him. Jean-Vivienne - that was his full name wasn't it? No worse than anyone's name back home really so she didn't understand why Jean-Viv didn't let people know his proper name. It was nothing to be ashamed of. "Why is it that you don't like dancing then? Are you afraid of contact with other people? Is it germaphobia or agoraphobia? Because you really don't like being out at all."

“That aside, you owe me a ‘Dalmatian’ from the Ice Cheetah,”

This was progress - he'd told her what type of ice-cream he was eating and he'd evidently left behind his agoraphobia long enough to leave to get the ice-cream once... he could do it again easily if he wanted it that badly but she wouldn't go and get it for him - she wasn't his servant. "So a dalmatian is your favorite ice-cream? Do you have a special association with the name of that ice-cream? Perhaps an old family pet? Or maybe you just really like the movie 101 Dalmatians! We can watch the movie and then you can tell me what you like about it!" Her excitement was bubbling again, nothing could keep her down now, not even his constantly irritated behavior.

“I’m sure female teenage hormones are difficult to deal with, but cry in front of someone else’s room and find someone else to vent your random accusations on because I’m not it. And if you touch me again, I will hit you regardless of your gender,”

Female teenage hormones? What was he getting at? That she had her... that... not that it was any of his business! "Male hormones are just as difficult to deal with, it's just better for girls because it's socially acceptable for us to cry unlike boys like you who have to be shut up in their room in case they get upset!" Heavy breathing followed by her not-so-nice retort to him and once she realized she was losing her cool the big smile came back on her face appearing to be even more fake than before. It was even harder to keep the smile up when he threatened her and shock crept upon her features. "Noel Leclair! I was apologizing to you because I care about your development - as an X-man and as a human being. I understand that you have issues about touching and that these problems lead you to react violently when you feel threatened but I am not threatening you - you can feel safe with me... now let's go downstairs and deal with this reasonably. Nobody else has been able to help you because you are affected by most psychiatric disorders known to man but I'm not giving up!" she pounded a fist into the palm of her hand and lifted her eyes determinately to him.

"I'm not asking to be your friend I'm just asking you to take little steps toward being a person - a person that can feel things. You want to be able to have some sort of emotional capacity don't you Noel Leclair?" Her bottom lip pouted out, but instead of stopping him by touching him her hand slammed against his door inches above the handle. She wouldn't let him open that door and if he did try to escape her she would grab hold of his clothes (because touching him directly was out of the question) and pull him downstairs where they could get serious regarding his varying problems - she could be fair about this but the boy needed some tough love from somewhere (didn't he have a mother for this sort of thing?).

This post has been edited by Paige Guthrie on Nov 15 2009, 09:16 AM

[Noel Leclair]

[OOC: I had him move around because I could not just leave him standing for the entire duration of the conversation because Noel doesn’t just ‘stand around’. I think it still works more or less, hopefully. Lol.]

It was one question after another. No, it was tens of questions after previous tens of questions. A lot of mindless rambling. A lot of mindless, presumptuous, vainglorious rambling. Assumptions about nonexistent behavior that largely rested in ignorance since the girl had very little actual interaction with him. He knew this for certain because after all, he’d made a point of enforcing the limited socialization. Maybe she was simply inherently incapable of keeping to her own affairs. Perhaps she required this constant irritable meddling because she had nothing better to do in her own personal life. It was a possibility. She did, after all, date his brother, and his brother practically caused spontaneous chaos by extension of his presence—all completely in notable exertions of effort of doing such, but regardless. The fact that his brother tried hard to attract attention detracted none from the fact that he was often successful.

He ignored the aimless conversation of the movie 101 Dalmatians and after his retort, opened the door to his room as the girl was preoccupied in huffs of a snappish response, claiming that male hormones were just as troublesome and that it was actually easier for those of the female orientation to adapt to the hormonal changes. He’d take such action in every intention of leaving the girl out in the hall by herself to give up on continuing this inane rambling, but apparently she was not so easily deterred. Although he’d been successful in slamming the door closed before the girl could attempt to get inside the room after him, the fact that a thick wooden door stood in between them did nothing to dissuade the babbling of feigned attempts at knowledge of psychology and that irritating presumption of desires for social company—that of the irritating girl in question, at that.

He pulled off his jacket and hung it loosely over the protruding footboard of his bed, grabbing the empty glass that he’d left behind in the morning before walking back out of his room. It was clear that the lack of an active presence for the high speed chatter did not deter the girl, but that didn’t mean he had to tolerate it any further. The door opened abruptly to reveal his more than displeased expression but he shoved the girl out of his immediate way. The door pulled firmly shut behind him he made sure to check for the sound of the click of the door handle, set to lock automatically. It was only then that he addressed her, as the girl moved between him and the door, seemingly to prevent him from returning to his preferred space.

“You need a hobby,” the remark was flat. “I doubt you have any extensive social connections to keep you occupied but if your personality is such a deterrent to making actual friends, I suggest you find a hobby to keep yourself busy instead of wasting other people’s time.” Preferably a hobby that took place outside, far away from the domicile of the Xavier Institute. Something like rock climbing in far away mountains. “For the record, I feel significant animosity towards you.” As usual, he failed to wait for a response, instead turning around to start down the hall, headed for the stairs in the intent of going downstairs to the kitchen.

[Paige Guthrie]

She was so used to him slamming doors on her that it wasn't even as much of an obstacle anymore. Certainly it aggravated her, but then the whole Noel Leclair persona aggravated her to the extremes and the worst part was that she had to be the bigger person. It wasn't his fault he was sick and if she could do something for Noel then she would be a shoo in for the X-men and on her way to full blown X-men leadership - it meant that she could accomplish the unaccomplishable (and there was no way she was going to let the amiable Il Sung Kim take that goal away from her since he was the only other one that Noel "socialized" with - she would do it first).

He'd been as silent as ever as she talked and she wondered if she could ever say anything that was going to get some sort of response... but then she supposed that she already had in a way. Texting him that he was jealous of Jean-Viv prompted a response, some way of proving himself against his twin all the way to coming down to the Valentine's dance and putting himself in harm's way (of Terry's kicking). Perhaps he really was jealous after all and that was the root of all his problems - perhaps maybe he used to compete with Jean-Viv but then just gave up competing and became a recluse because he was finding it impossible to compete! She was sure that Jean-Viv would agree with her theory but that didn't necessarily mean that it was true - Jean-Viv sometimes said things about Noel that weren't true (he didn't own any cats!). Finally Noel surfaced from his room but there was no way now he was back that she was going to let him return there... so she stepped in front of the doorway and blocked his path.

“You need a hobby, I doubt you have any extensive social connections to keep you occupied but if your personality is such a deterrent to making actual friends, I suggest you find a hobby to keep yourself busy instead of wasting other people’s time.”

"You're one to talk about having friends Noel Leclair! What did you get sick of competing with Jean-Viv over friends - of him stealing your friends away that you just gave up trying?" she yelled after him in a display of her frustration, catching him at the staircase, hoping to prompt a response out of him by anger again since the option of niceness and pity didn't seem to work on him. The only way to get to him was to provoke him and if that was her only option she would have to take it.

“For the record, I feel significant animosity towards you.”

That wasn't the response she was hoping for when she'd asked for his feelings but it was some sort of response to her question. In all honesty she felt a similar animosity toward him but she couldn't really say that otherwise he'd have something to hold against her when it came to her role in leadership being under scrutiny. So she bit her tongue hard to prevent anything coming out that she'd later regret and more tears came to her eyes. "Why do you do it Noel Leclair?" she began, trying to address him gently while putting him on the spot, "why do you go out of your way to hurt other people? Saying that you'll hit me and you don't like me when all I've been trying to do is be your friend..." Would he have anything to say to that? "Answer me!" she put a hand on his shoulder from her position just behind him so he wouldn't get away again - would he hit her like he promised? What was he going to do? If she was straight with him then maybe he'd be straight with her, with a deep sigh she added, "I just happen to think some things are more important than making friends, like striving for success and having lots of responsibility. What's your excuse?" That's all she wanted to know - why he was like he was and if he told her she would be happy with that.

This post has been edited by Paige Guthrie on Nov 18 2009, 12:41 PM

[Noel Leclair]

Sometimes there were days in which he seriously questioned the validity of his stay at the Xavier Institute. These days were most frequently the ones in which his room was rudely invaded by Il Sung Kim who had a penchant for picking the door lock because all the dorm door locks were the same and the older teen had extensive practice on his own door for some unfathomable reason. Perhaps he was merely that bored. It wasn’t out of the question considering the person in question. Other days were those in which the other annoying blond girl of the mansion happened to stalk him talking about sunshine and sunlight. There were also those days of random compulsory social attendance of events that were more a waste of time than anything productive. But he could tolerate all these things because Charles Xavier could keep him from hallucinating about English girls with too much make up or causing a black hole to appear in the middle of the room or causing fires or manifesting a physical representation of Napoleon to attempt to question him about history.

Other times it was just a day full of minor agitations. Like today. Or more precisely, this afternoon about fifteen minutes ago when he’d returned to the Institute presuming nice and quiet solitude. Only to be presented with the unappealing, heavily one-sided conversation that was Paige Guthrie. Perhaps she was incapable of fully comprehending the concept of ‘no’. Jean-Viv was. That could be the point of connection through which their unlikely so-called relationship had built itself. Or perhaps, like Il Sung Kim, the girl also simply had nothing better to do. Both seemed likely. Both seemed simultaneously true.

He would have scoffed at the ventured accusation but he was more the disdainful sort than the openly demeaning. There was a slight difference of assholes involved in that distinction. “My choice of company is that- choice.” Even given that said company was more precisely a lack thereof. “I can’t stand any of Jean-Vivienne’s friends.” Case in point, the present company. He made no effort to raise his voice though she shouted after him as he walked past the staircase down to the first floor. It really didn’t matter whether the girl heard him or not. In fact, perhaps in the case that she hadn’t heard, she would stop talking. But given the history built up so far, this seemed unlikely enough that he had no anticipations. So instead he continued down the stairs ignoring the fact that she seemed fully intent on following him.

Except the fact was, Paige Guthrie was exceptionally good at being an active irritant.
He did not pause initially, even then, but glanced back briefly, noting in displeasure the tears in her eyes—this girl cried at everything, it was nearly intolerable. Still that fell short of actually causing him to stop or to make any sort of real response, but then she yelled and caught up to catch him by the shoulder. This would never happen to Jesse Hall. For one, he was too tall to be grabbed by the shoulders by Paige Guthrie. Then again, even as Noel Leclair he was at least a few inches taller than the girl the advantage more lost completely due to their geographical positions as she was two steps up from his location. Also, he had no doubt that she would have merely switched tactics to grab him by the arm or something similar to the same effect, physically dissuaded from the option of the shoulder. The same discontenting effect.

He turned around finally, fully around, grabbing the offending hand by the wrist and planting it against the wall next to them. No harsh, rapid movement of emotion, but it was firm and he was strong enough to keep the position. He stepped back up a step, closing the space between them and placing them eye level as he stood one step down the staircase, his preference for personal space greater than any instinctive desire to intimidate by recovery of his full height. “I have never gone out of my way to hurt other people. You on the other hand, seem intent on disturbing my life and going out of your way to be a bloody annoyance,” a bloody great big annoyance at that. Particularly when she asked questions like that. But he hadn’t felt the need to lie about this ever before, not even during the ‘talks’ about his ‘rebellious behavior’ (also present in his twin, as they frequently made the point of mentioning after traversing around the topic verbally for a moment, waiting for the ‘right time’ to inquire about any issues in the home), or to Logan when the older mutant had asked the previous year. And he did not now. “I’m not wasting my time around you because you’re not worth my limited time.” He let go then, swiftly turning around to make it down the last few stairs, shifting the glass back into his other hand. He did not care to hear whatever reply the girl might have, but then again, that was nothing new.