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 Special Education - Ch2 excerpt, By RisanF
pixelgoddess
Posted: Nov 6 2009, 12:07 AM


Kiss me you fool
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This is an excerpt from the second chapter of my Dragon Ball/Dr. Slump crossover fanfic "Special Education," in where Bulma drops by Kame House to visit Goku, Kuririn, Kame-Sen'nin, and new arrival Arale. This segment is essentially my shooting ground to poke fun at the fandoms of Avatar: The Last Airbender (Zutara) and Twilight, so you might want to skip this if you have a lot staked into these interests. Otherwise, this might be the best part of the entire story.

Rating: PG-13

-RisanF

-
-

"Wow, Son-kun, you really did it!" Bulma's good humor came through unabashed, a wry smile tugging the corner of her mouth. "You got yourself a little starter girlfriend, and just your size too!"

"Yup!" Goku smiled, his arm draped across Arale's back affectionately. "She's really neat, and a lot stronger than you are!"

"Hmph!" The turquoise-haired inventor looked wounded, and turned away with a small huff. "We beautiful city girls are a lot more delicate than you rough 'n' tough country bumpkins!"

"Don't we know it!" Kame-Sen'nin slipped up to Bulma with a pasty leer, an action at which Bulma chucked a sharp elbow at.

Bulma had dropped by on her Capsule plane this afternoon to join Goku and company around the table. Her breakup with Yamcha had left her with an abundance of free time, and since she frequently skipped school, there was little reason for her to stay in the city. Together, the group was a oddball coalition of all ages and personality types, but they seemed to get along for the most part. Norimaki Arale remained the wild card, and Kame-Sen'nin and Kuririn waited at the edge of their seats to see how Bulma would react to her.

"Well, well," Bulma took the old master's sexual advances relatively in stride. "Wish I could say I had better things to do than spend time with a dirty old man, but whatever."

"You're the one who broke up with Yamcha a few weeks after you got back together with him," Kurinin pointed out, glaring at her with a certain contempt.

"Hey, is it my fault that he's so completely boring that he makes pen and ink guys look better?" she snapped, bringing up the book wedged between her finger and thumb. "If guys would at least read some of the quality literature out there, they'd know what girls are looking for!"

Kame-Sen'nin's eyes drifted over the front cover. "Ah, 'Twilight,' by Stephanie Meyer," he spoke in a reverent tone. "A fascinating tale of love and sacrifice. Always a top choice."

"You like the part where the 104 year old vampire gets together with the 17 year old girl, don't you." Bulma peered over the top of the book with narrow eyes.

"Hey, an old man is a old man," Kame-Sen'nin shrugged easily, shaking his head. "All us senior citizens need some lovin'."

"At least Edward's skin sparkles!" she snapped at him. "Not like you wormy old toads!"

Kuririn sighed. "I'm kinda sick of this bishonen bad boy talk," he groaned as he reached across the table for a corn muffin, moving aside Bulma's tote bag as he did so. Then, his eye surreptitiously flicked inside the bag's opening, to a short document printed on copy paper and stapled together. Before anyone could stop him, he quickly dove in and snagged the document. "'Love's Flaming Blossom,' an Avatar: The Last Airbender story by capsulegirl164," he read out loud, incredulous. "Jeez, Bulma, you write Zutara fanfiction too?"

"Give me that!!" she growled, her hand clawing for the papers. "It hasn't been proofread yet!"

"Let's see if it's even worth proofreading first," Kuririn said, his eyes coasting the fanfic for a random passage even as he pushed Bulma away.

-

"Oh Zuko," Katara moaned as she melted against the side of her Fire Nation prince. "I'm so ready to become your Fire Lady."

"You're the only fire in my heart, my fiesty Water Tribe peasant." The handsome young man's words rolled off his tongue like a torch song, inciting and igniting the embers of her heart.

The lovely young lady sighed in rapturous bliss, as the two continued down the gangplank to Zuko's war ship. Then, Katara nearly toppled over as she felt a soft, porous substance give way under her foot. "Eww, gross!" she said, observing the yellow/orange gunk on her shoe. "I think I just stepped in Airbender!"

-

"You fangirls are all alike!" Kuririn slammed the fanfic to the table in disgust. "Pounding out your bad boy fantasies, and leaving us with the dregs! I'll tell you, Zuko's a complete rube! A shmoe, a dolt!"

"Oh, like she's really going to end up with Aang," Bulma spat, snatching back her story to rout its further criticism. "That little shrimp!"

"d*mn right!" Kuririn's eyes flashed with righteous fury. "Aang is an inspiration to all us short, bald-headed monks looking for girlfriends! We may not be as muscly as a Fire Nation prince, but we give as good as we get!" He rose from his seat, and struck a pose derivative of old martial arts flicks. "Airbending strike!!"

"Hoyo-yo..." Arale blinked in confusion. "They're funny."

"What's the big deal, anyway?" Goku wondered, looking at Arale. "Aren't you supposed to just find a girl you like, and kiss her?"

He did just that, with Arale giggling as she accepted the kiss.

"Yeesh, little brats kissing." Bulma made a face. "This is going to take some getting used to."

"That's the Kataang way!" Kuririn cheered on his friend with gusto.

"Hey, Go-kun said you were a scientist like Hakase!" Arale separated from her boyfriend for the moment and turned to Bulma. "Like you make zap zap laser guns and stuff?"

"Huh?" Bulma blinked, momentarily distracted from her anger. "Sure, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"This," the smaller brought her hands to her neck. With a small 'oomph', she pulled her head straight off her shoulders and held it aloft for all to see.

Bulma's eyes grew ten inches in diameter.

"See, I used to be able to make my spin around, but Hakase made it so I could only turn around like a human because I was making everyone sick," she explained in a matter-of-fact tone. "But going spin-spin-spin was a lot of fun, so maybe you can fix it so I can do it again."

"What the hell!?" Bulma screamed at the top of her lungs. "You're a robot!?"

"Whoa!" Kuririn reared back in his seat, astonished. "It's sci-fi night at Orin Temple all over again!"

"Very interesting," Kame-Sen'nin mused, raising his eyebrow. "A robot girlfriend. I'll have to let you borrow my Chobits collection sometime, Goku."

"What wrong with robots?" Goku asked Bulma, chucking Arale's head under his arm like it was a basketball. "Hatchan's a robot, and he's pretty cool. He kinda thinks like we do, anyway. Don't you build robots, Bulma?"

"What?!" the inventor reared back at his insinuations. "I am NOT having an argument about consciousness with you, Son Goku!"

"But what about that story with the girl that had the yellow ribbon tied around her neck?" Arale's disembodied head insisted from its position under Goku's arm. "Her head fell off, but she still got married."

"That was a horror story!" Bulma screamed, clutching her own neck as if, it too, had been severed. "It gave me nightmares all through first grade!"

Bulma rose from her seat like a ramrod. "I've had about all I take of this!" she wailed, quickly stuffing her fanfic back into her bag. "I should've known that you all were a bunch of robot loving, Kataang writing, headless horseman from the very beginning!" She stormed out the door, slamming it hard enough to shake the frame of the house. "Good riddance!"

A few moments later, they heard the telltale hum of an engine warming up. The group could see Bulma's capsule plane rising up from its position on the beach, and then jetting off towards the west in a streak of smoke.

"What a prude," Kame-Sen'nin commented, taking a sip of his beer.


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