Which To Bury, Us or the Hatchet, Marcel, Gideon, Sofia

[Gideon Knight]

Gideon held her close, and he knew he sounded a little corny, and he was trying not to, but every word he said was true! He did love his wife. He did forgive her, because that, he felt, was what he was supposed to do. If he didn't, or couldn't, then what? He wasn't stupid. He knew the way he could be when he dwelled on things. It would ruin them, completely. He didn't want that. This one, stupid, hurtful indiscretion was not worth killing their relationship for. They were immortal, after all. Gideon didn't want to look at eternity and not be able to fit Sofia into it.

She turned in his arms so she could hug him properly, and he just stayed where he was, holding her close. He was surprised at how readily he did forgive her... Once upon a time, he may not have. Hell, once upon a time, he didn't, and she hadn't even cheated on him! He supposed he'd grown up since then, or maybe their bond had just grown stronger. One way or another, he would have done anything to keep her around. And it wasn't the same kind of weak desperation he would have experienced with Marcel. He didn't feel that he'd be helpless without Sofia, or lost. He felt that he was at a place in his life where he could have gone on. He just didn't want to have to.

He loved her.

He loved her, he loved her, he loved her. And that was all there was to it.

"Where did your heart get so big? Your family was worse than mine. How did your heart grow?"

Deep down, he did feel the tiniest bit guilty that Sofia thought so badly of his family. (Or his parents, anyway, since she knew quite well that he and his brother got along fine.) They weren't the most nurturing pair as far as their youngest son was concerned, but his mother would probably be hurt that her daughter in law already didn't like her. They were long, long dead, though, so Gideon supposed it didn't matter much.

"I think," he thought back to her as he stroked her blonde hair as if she were a child, "I remember what it was like...not having that. Being so alone. When I see you and the children and my brother and Laurel and Adam...it's like I have a chance to start it all over, and let it be done right. I can love all of you so much because I want to love all of you so much." He pulled away to look down at her, his white brow furrowed thoughtfully. "Does that...m-make sense?"

[Sofia Knight]

Maybe it was just something you acquired with age, Gideon's ability to forgive her and open up his heart even when she'd done something wrong, but it seemed hardly probable. After all, when Sofia had brought Dario over to merely meet Gideon he'd lost his mind without provocation and threw the both of them out, nearly killing Dario in the process. He was so stubborn for forgive her after that and yet now when Sofia actually had done something to hurt him Gideon was willing to forgive her just like that. He trusted that she was sorry and would never do it again. Somehow, that was the end of it for Gideon... But why? And how? Sofia had her medical license, something Gideon had never been able to accomplish, but he proved himself to be wiser than she was at every turn of the path.

While she held him, Gideon's fingers combed through her hair, soothing Sofia as if she were Ruth on his lap. It worked on her just as well as it worked on their small child and she felt secure in his arms. After all, he'd said he would forgive her and even if Sofia knew it was strange she also knew that Gideon didn't lie. It had been the thing that first attracted her to him - when Gideon told her harshly not to lie on that street corner years ago. He really would forgive her but it seemed improbable. After all, Sofia hadn't done a thing to deserve it.

"When I see you and the children and my brother and Laurel and Adam... it's like I have a chance to start it all over, and let it be done right. I can love all of you so much because I want to love all of you so much."

Gideon untangled himself from Sofia's desperate hold and she relented, standing on her own and glancing the short distance above her where Gideon's eyes sat. He was so handsome with his brow wrinkled that way and concern in his eyes... He really did love her. There was never any denying that. Sofia just still couldn't quite comprehend why when she gave him so much trouble. But apparently, that was the reason why... It gave him a real family to repair now, maybe. Instead of having a broken one with no hope like before... There was hope here. Sofia would always try to be better, even if she failed. So in that sense they were doing leaps and bounds better than either of their previous families because at least they were trying.

"Yes... It does." Sofia took a breath in and expelled it with the intention of expelling all of her bad energy as well. She looked down at her floor - impossibly clean even if Sofia was continuously convinced that it was dirty - and back up again to her husband who really was perfect. She was doing something right by keeping him here and still loving her. She must not have been that bad if he still wanted to try... Sofia attempted a small smile for that realization and abandoned it again when she felt foolish. She nodded instead and looped her fingers into Gideon's shirt, preferring to feel grounded. Earlier she'd grabbed Marcel's knee when he was closest to her but Sofia would try her hardest never to make that mistake again. Some friend he was turning out to be...

"I am sorry." Sofia told Gideon firmly, remembering what he'd wanted from her before. Her eyes sought his own and she locked her gaze onto Gideon's, looking determined even while the rest of her was a mess. What a sight she must have been, hair looped up in a sloppy pony tail and her jeans and an old college t-shirt without even shoes on. Actually, she was looking more like Gideon today then, wasn't she? "I hate myself for doing it. And I won't do it again... It was a mistake. I love you more than anything... Not Marcel. I thought he was my friend and maybe that's why it happened... He's," Sofia didn't even know how to express that thought. The fiend had told her he loved her! Why? "I thought I was his friend too. But I think... There's something strange and maybe he wants me to be more. It was easy to give in to with blood and death and I was just so frustrated..." Sofia felt shamed for being so frustrated when Gideon was so good! She dropped her gaze to his shirt and twisted her fingers more insistently into the cotton. "I won't let it happen again... I promise."

[Gideon Knight]

Gideon loved holding Sofia. She fitted so perfectly in his arms. Like a puzzle piece he had been missing for three hundred years of his life. Even when he should have been angry as hell at her, he couldn't look at her without wanting to pull her close and cuddle her to bits. It was similar, actually, to the way he felt when he looked at Ruth (except, naturally, there was nothing remotely romantic about it). Ruth was so sunny and gorgeous and sweet and irresistible. Nobody could look at her and not want to play with her and hug her and snuggle her and hear her laugh. Gideon looked at Sofia and felt the same way. He looked at her and NEEDED to hold her, touch her, kiss her, talk with her, laugh with her...

Yes, she cheated on him.

Yes, for a little while, he thought she had damn near broken his heart.

But the pain of having a broken heart still paled in comparison to the joy he felt whenever he saw his wife hold him and smile. That was something he didn't get with Marcel. With Marcel, the bad had always outweighed the good. With Sofia, the good far, far outweighed any bad.

Sofia held him and looked up at him, her pretty green eyes as warm and honest as ever. "I am sorry... I hate myself for doing it. And I won't do it again... It was a mistake. I love you more than anything... Not Marcel. I thought he was my friend and maybe that's why it happened... I thought I was his friend too. But I think... There's something strange and maybe he wants me to be more. It was easy to give in to with blood and death and I was just so frustrated... I won't let it happen again... I promise."

He looked at her for a moment or two, brushing a lock of hair that had strayed from her ponytail and into her eyes. He loved her eyes; he wanted to see them properly.

"I kn-know you won't," he said firmly. "Because...w-when I...with Gregory? I rem-member how bad it felt, and...I would n-never...ever again. It's...n-not worth it to...feel that way." He wrapped his legs more tightly around her and hugged her close enough to kiss her on the forehead. "Also...it's...m-maybe a g-good thing? A little bit? Because I...I always kn-knew that...Marcel...um. L-likes you. And you...like him. And he's..." He faltered a bit, swallowing a scowl. "He's...m-more than me in...in some ways... And... I don't kn-know, I w-worried a little. Sometimes. But now? Now I...d-don't have to. Right?"

[Sofia Knight]

Sofia told Gideon how she felt just as honestly and sincerely as he'd asked of her. She was sorry. So sorry and Sofia told Gideon with all of the words she could imagine. She was so sorry... It was a terrible mistake. Sofia loved Gideon more than anything in the world, much more than Marcel... She wasn't even sure she loved Marcel at all now, perhaps not even as a friend. When Sofia was done Gideon rewarded her by brushing hair away from her face and coaxed Sofia into looking at him again, offering a small smile. He was handsome... beautiful, really. A true angel, not like the one he'd thought Sofia was upon meeting him. But then again, for one another they could be angels even if singularly they were nothing but hell to everyone else around them. Even if sometimes they hurt one another just the same.

Sofia melted into Gideon's chest when he reminded her of Gregory, the one he'd cheated on her with. Sofia held Gideon tightly around the torso and knew she could never hold that against him now when she'd done so much worse... But he forgave her. So they could leave it now. Both of them.

"Also... it's... m-maybe a g-good thing? A little bit?" How? Sofia furrowed her brow. She wasn't following Gideon's logic. "Because I... I always kn-knew that... Marcel... um. L-likes you. And you... like him. And he's... He's... m-more than me in... in some ways..."

Sofia groaned out loud and rolled her head, putting her face right into Gideon's chest. It was silly!

"I didn't know he liked me like that. I thought he was my friend, I thought it. I thought we were just friends... He said he loved me." Sofia thought over Gideon's words, probably contributing to his fumbling but she just couldn't wait to tell him. She didn't realize that Marcel thought of her like that!

"Why would you have to? No... No, now I know too." Sofia confirmed and used her palm to push herself back slightly, looking up at Gideon's face again. He had the most handsome red eyes... Sofia exhaled and stared into them seriously, trying to convey her emotions without faltering. "He's less than you in every way. He didn't tell me he loved me... Before you and I ever did anything? You told me, Gideon. That was important. Remember? That night?" Sofia gave Gideon a second to recall the night that he discovered Marcel was alive as well. The first night the Frenchman walked into her life. "I thought he was my friend but he wasn't... He wanted things he didn't tell me and I'm so foolish when I'm frustrated... It's not his fault, it's mine. But he's... Nothing, Gideon. Nothing compared to you. What would he ever be more in? The coward's faked his death... I don't know how many times now." Sofia smirked, thinking that his funeral was, in retrospect, rather ridiculous. And it was a good point. Gideon had never done something like that.

[Gideon Knight]

"I didn't know he liked me like that. I thought he was my friend, I thought it. I thought we were just friends... He said he loved me."

Sofia thought to him her surprise that Marcel had mentioned anything about havig stronger-than-friendly feelings about her, and although Gideon had not been surprised in the least, he knew that Sofia was being honest. There was nothing in her head that implied anything else. She really hadn't had any inkling of Marcel's feelings about her. Maybe Gideon just knew his sire better than she did, or maybe Sofia was in some kind of terrible denial, or maybe she was just a bit dim with these kinds of things, but a huge part of the reason Gideon had feared some kind of intimacy between his wife and his sire was because Marcel was fonder of Sofia than he should have been. Gideon saw it sometimes when Marcel looked at her or talked to her - a kind of light and life in his eyes that he should not have had for another man's wife.

"He's less than you in every way. He didn't tell me he loved me... .... You told me, Gideon. That was important. Remember? That night?" Gideon shifted uncomfortably on the floor. Of course he remembered that night, the horrible night when Marcel had mocked him and insulted him and thrown him to the floor... Of course, that was also one of the best nights of his life, wasn't it? When Sofia admitted she might have loved him... "I thought he was my friend but he wasn't... He wanted things he didn't tell me and I'm so foolish when I'm frustrated... It's not his fault, it's mine. But he's...nothing, Gideon. Nothing compared to you. What would he ever be more in? The coward's faked his death... I don't know how many times now."

"Just two," Gideon murmured, reflexively defending his sire. It was a hard habit to break. Already, with Marcel no longer in his presence to spur his natural violent temper, two feelings were beginning to war inside him - a hate for Marcel and a protective instinct for him. After all, he had loved his sire once, very deeply and for a very long time. Already he was beginning to regret sending him out the way he did, ripping his family from him. Marcel was family, twisted as that was. And now... Gideon had denied him that family, and that affection, the way he had been denied it as a child. Even though his anger was perfectly justified, he couldn't help but feel he was now no better than his father.

He sighed and buried his face in Sofia's hair, breathing in her scent. It never failed to calm him down. Being with her, just holding her and taking her in, was like an opiate - sweet and calm and quiet, and just as addictive. "I don't want to...t-talk about him," he said, his voice muffled almost childishly against her neck. "Please. L-let's forg-get him? For n-now? I don't... I don't want to...think about him and... And you. Tog-gether."