2011Iím babysitting tonight.
Yes. Actual, living children! I think Iíve done a decent job so far, considering that Iíve never really been around kids aside from the little time I spent around Paigeís little girl. I mean, I let them watch a lot of television, and we ate pizza (which I imagine Sofia wonít be too thrilled about), and I gave them ice cream afterwardsÖbut thatís not all that
bad, right? After all, they seemed pretty content. The boys, Jacob and Noah, definitely seemed to approve. And they are cute little darlings, I have to admit. But still, Iím glad theyíre finally asleep. I can only handle so much of being Ďin over my headí for a night. Besides, Ruth made quite a mess out of her pepperonis and cheese (Iíll be cleaning that off the walls laterÖ).
Being around them makes me wonder what, say, Kevin and I would be like as parents. I know itís far
too early in our relationship to even consider something like that, but I canít help but wonder what itíd be like to be a mother. Iíve always put the thought completely out of my mind Ė always thought kids just arenít for me. But after spending the evening with Ruthie (yes, Iím calling her that. Donít tell Sofia), I feel likeÖsomething is missing in my life. Is this it? Are children whatís missing in the equation? Iím far from perfect, but, I meanÖthereís a reason my
father wanted a family. Right? I could be better than him. I understand sacrifice. And I did
enjoy tonight, after all.
Iím really surprised Sofia considered me at all, actually. Iím pretty sure Iíve told her before that Iíve literally spent almost no
time around kids. But Iím sure I was a last resort, knowing Sofia. Itís been awhile since sheís asked me to cover her shift at work, too, now that I think about it. I can tell sheís been stressed out lately. Sheís had a lot going on, with the custody battle and all, I guess. She actually asked me about being a character witness
the other day. Me! Testifying for her character.
Fancy that. I havenít the slightest idea what I would say about Sofia, but I can be sure of one thing Ė these kids are crazy about her. And obviously, sheís nuts about them Ė she talks about them at work, sometimes. Sheís quite different from the Sofia I first met, you knowÖ
Maybe sheíd actually consider covering for me
for a change. I made quite a mess the other night with Kevin, and I could definitely use the time to fix things. Everything seemed to be going so well with us, but ever since I told him about Kenith, itís been completely different. I knew it wouldnít be easy, confessing to something I had pretty much been withholding from him. Something big. Since being a pet
isnít like admitting youíre allergic to cats. And I suppose, I didnít expect him to be happy
about it, either. Telling your boyfriend that you, technically, belong
to another man - a vampire - probably wouldnít go over well in any circumstance. But I probably should have told him sooner, I guess. I canít argue that. With Kenith, it was different. Itís not as easy to hide things from a vampire. Especially when he can just drop by any time he likes.
Itís obvious that the best thing is to do my best to make sure the two never meet one another. Iím afraid of what Kenith would do to Kevin. Heís soÖpossessive and nonchalant, as if human life means nothing. And Kevin means, literally, nothing to him. At least, with me - Kenith sees value in my blood. And considering how Kevin feels about the whole situation Ė itís probably just best to avoid the confrontation thatís bound to happen.
Oh.. Noahís calling for me. Back to business.